I just recently confronted my ww about info, read compelling evidence, that I've been sitting on allowing to fester for about a year. Ive been trolling this site for about a year and a half and I must say her reaction was classic. I approached her very calmly and respectfully and simply wanted the truth. We have a young daughter so I explained that no matter what has been going on it wasn't a 'deal breaker' to me. It was, the only way to decribe the next few days, surreal. The dancing, the turn it around, the lie upon lie, the damage control. Wow, you see I was able to be moderately emotionally detached since I went thru all the gut wrenching trauma a year ago. Any way the evidence has been destroyed (email stuff) but is still verbatum in my head. I got no answers and since I am an honest straitforeward guy need some help in sneeky stuff, My brain just doesn;t work that way usually, unless I'm confronted with red flag after red flag. I need to know the truth and am prepared for the worst. I feel there can be no recovery until the facts are on the table. I need to know, who, when, where, how long etc. No gory details please. Since this info is not going to be forth coming from her, help. No access to her work computer, her cell phone is also work owned so no records. Any suggestions?
Thanks

Hi Damnit!

If you´ve been lurking for a year you know more than me about this!!!!! LOL.

I think you need to add a few details about yourself, your WW and your sitch and post it on General Questions II where there is more going on.
Also maybe you should state some specific questions you´d like answered.

How did your WW act when confronted?
Sorry I can´t help you.

So sorry that you find yourself here.

So basically she is denying everything in spite of you having told her enough of what you read so that she knows that you know?

And you think that this is still going on? She is still acting 'strange'?

You can pay to get cell phone records I think. You might try searching this forum for "phone records"

Well Dammit, Here is my 2 cents, I am the queen of sneeky... Check her cell phone when she is in the shower. Look at all incoming and out going , missed calls. Then I started a log and the phone number I knew when on one side with there name... the other side is numbers you don't know... then I would go on line and do a reverse number look up to see who it was, then If that brought up no records I would block my number and call and make up a name or just listed to there v-mail to see who it was... Also while H was in the shower I would look through his bag that he carries everything in to see I there was anything there. I watched our bank statement like a hawk on line. also when I had to drive his car I would check in there... You can find lots of info that way ... because they will slip up and you will find the information. Sorry it is so deciete full(SP) but, you have to do what you need to do....Hope that helps.

Ok, how protected is her computer at work? I just ask because there things out there that you can install remotely and find out EVERYTHING she does on the computer. I couldn't do it myself b/c my H worked for the federal govt and I think their computers are very protected, but some probably aren't. Just a suggestion.
As for the cell phone, I would rely on the actual records, b/c you can delete recent calls/outgoing calls, so the actual record, which you can usually get online would be more accurate. My H told me he talk to the OW 3-4 times on the phone and it ended up being 32 times in a 2 week period! So, you can get some results!
I am sorry you have to do this. It is something we all find uncomfortable but necessary.
Take care!