My wife asked for a D 12-1. Moved out 1-1. She is considering coming back. I am reading SAA. I believe she is having an EA with neighbor. She does not want to stop friendship and partying. I have said it feels like EA. She is agreeable to reading SAA in the near future. If recovery is to begin working, how do I tell her what she is doing is an EA and is killing me. The fact that she is considering coming home is because of prayer and faith but how long do I suffer? How do I tell her to stop seeing this guy friend without pushing her away. Can anyone help?

Goldnhurt,

Sorry you have ended up here. There is a lot of help available from people with a lot more experience than I but I will try to help..

My wife asked for a D 12-1. Moved out 1-1.
She is considering coming back

What has happened that she is considering coming back? What happened that she moved out?


web page

She is agreeable to reading SAA in the near future. .

If she is agreeable to reading SAA some time in the future you may be able to ask her to take a few minutes (instead of a few hours) to read this after you print it out. Could or would this allow you to open the door to a safe conversation with her about A's? EA's & PA's?
Absolutley no lovebusters-selfish demands/disrespectful judgements/angry outbursts

Finish reading SAA-it does answer alot of the questions you are asking.

There is a lot of information on this site if you look around a little bit. Keep posting and read all you can.

It may help a little if you could give some brief history as to years married? children? seperated before? A's b4?

Hope I have helped-If I haven't keep posting.

Jerry

We have been married just short of 15yrs. Three kids d-18(I adopted), d-14, s-13. got married because she was pregnant- church. Never had a real solid marriage. she decided to move out long ago, but met ( 6-8 months ago) neighbors( 2 guys - cousins) who are renting from friends of ours. Nothing has happened - don't know if there ever will, so she says. They are partying and hanging out, being friends.

I have had a couple of things in my past that contributed to the split - mostly attitude towards her anger and internet pornography. I came clean about all - honesty. I am trying to cahnge my attitude towards her - making her more importaant in my life - adding love units. While I was in my selfishness, put on (as I have learned) negative lenses and saw her as a very negative sight - not beautiful or worth caring for. My confession has removed those and allowed me to see her in a better light. All this plus SAA are helping me to see the errors/ignorance of my ways.

She had an affair about 8 years ago(her internet time) and we patched things togather some-what. But neither of us a good childhood and understood what love is.

Saa is helping me understand what it takes to be in a relationship. I don't know if she quite understands that - that is why she will/has not broken it off with the guy friends