Any Professionals? My wife first came to me after a series of events to let me know she had Bulimia, for over 20 years. This led to us getting her to therepy. In her therepy it was suggested to reveal to me she had had a previous affair, of 2 years and was currently in another one. The present one she was trapped in ad the only way out was to tell me so the now stalker would leave her alone. She broke down and begged me to stay and since we have been in councelling. The councelling and her therepy has revealled huge childhood issues of no love, limited sexual abuse, aloveless controlling mother and non existant stepdad emotionally. As well there was a teen pregnancy that ended in abortion, (no councelling). She is now very lost, on anti depressants and holding on for dear life to me. Even with all this it is extremely hard for me to get over the affairs that are definitely ended.

Any thoughts?

I am no "professional", but that sounds similar to the circumstances that I am in at this very moment..only its my husband with the affairs, and child hood traumas. At this moment, I can't offer any constructive advice, but just to tell you that you are not alone in your pain. Hold on to Jesus, thats the only One that has brought me this far...

Yes it is extremely hard to deal with a multiple affair spouse with pre-marital issues, but remember that NOBODY is forcing you to stay married to her. If you are undecided about staying or leaving, then please consider conveying to your W that you cannot make any promises about not leaving her since you are also dealing with her traumatic revelations about her affairs but that you are willing to consider waiting for some time before you make a final decision for or against divorcing her. This will take some of the pressure off you and will communicate to her that if she truly wants you to remain married to her, then she is going to have to prove herself worthy by her actions from now on.

In the meantime, try to help her by being a friend who will help her deal through a difficult period in her life. You may find out that reaching out to her you may be helping yourself as well.

TMCM