Ok, just found this site....my last chance...
Background...married 12 years to my high school sweetheart...2 children...love of my life...husband left for Iraq...while he was there, I was attacked (sexually) by his best friend (brother)...then a month later..found out that my husband was on porn sites..and match making sites...all in the same night, found out that he had multiple affairs...from a 2 nite stand..to a 3 month relationship...I almost died that night (spiritually and physically). But for the Grace of God...I am still here for what reason I havent figured out just yet...Husband is home now for 2 months...and we are trying to work it out..he has given his life to Jesus...and has really made a change in his life...I have told him that I have forgiven him..but I'm plagued everyday with thoughts of his affairs....I just cant get it out of my mind. He is so happy that I allowed him to come home and that God has forgiven him and now he is living a Christ focused life...I want him to suffer (secretly). He hurt me beyond anything in my life. HELP!!!!!!!! WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE????

its natural to wan t something like that pain in your life to be caused back upon who hurt you. Reality, it never will be.... even if you slept with someone else as a revenge affair, he would not hurt as much as you do....
If you love him then forgive him......
if you cant move past what he has done then leave him....
ultimately whatever you do will leave you stronger

Thanks....I have forgiven him, its just so hard to forget what he did...and the details behind it all. My marriage is worth every bit of my energy I put into it...it just seems so hard to get through every day

Speaking from personal experience, you will NEVER forget about his affairs BUT if YOU chose to remain married to him and HE proves himself trustworthy to you [by becoming 100% accountable to you for his time and whereabouts, and being emotionally supportive towards you], then the emotional impact that these thoughts bring, will diminish considerably over time for he will no longer be the man who devastated you with his affairs.

Now as far as your BIL is concerned, you and your H should banish him from your lives for the rape or attempted rape he committed against you. Remember that the attack was not only against you but against your H and children as well. He should be in prison for what he did to ALL of you, and if he isn't then he should never again be a part of your lives.

TMCM

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this site. I am currently nine months pregnant and am due any day now. Since I became pregnant my sex life with my husband has diminished somewhat. He says that he is afraid to have sex with me now know if he will hurt the baby. While he has a low sex drive as it is, I've always been understanding to this. I suggested him to use the different methods that are available to him but he says he doesn't want to take any type of medication. Just recently I discovered that he is using viagra. He works very long hours, but when I call him at work he is at his company. During the w/e's he runs his errands but tends to return late. The only thing I can think of is that he is cheating or he looking at pornography. I'm not certain how to address the situation because I was snooping in his things. Right now I'm extremely angry. Pleae advise.

I pray in time this will all get easier. As for our friend that hurt us all very much, yes he is out of our lives. That was painful in so many respects...his wife was my best friend..our kids grew up together...and he took advantage on so many different levels, including the fact that my husband was in Iraq..and he knew of my husbands affairs. He has his own issues of infidelity. Its amazing how many of these relationships are out there...if you had asked me 4 months ago...I would have sworn that my marriage would never be one of them...fooled again

loyalty,

You are just as worthy of receiving advice and emotional support as anybody else that comes to this forum is, but I would like to kindly suggest that you create a new thread explaining your story. You can do this by going to the top of the page and clicking on 'New Topic'. I'm sure that if you do so that you will have folks posting their advice to you.

God bless.

TMCM