Actually this time I told him all the "evidence". I told him that I really felt like something was going on. Then I asked him about his behavior. Now I'm a non-confrontational person by nature. So I did this calmly. I told him I really needed to know so we could move past all of this and work on the marriage. He told me to drop it and stop asking him about it. He said he had enough. I just can't help that I have these feelings.

Is it possible if he's had some sort of affair he will stop because I'm "onto" him? I'm going to continue with meeting his needs and not lb'ing. What else can I do. Oh btw he's a no go on that MC idea. He's a no go on me going alone. Thanks.

If you need a IC you need a IC. Don't let him pressure you out of it if it something you need. I don't know what the evidence is but it seems pretty common to expose this to someone that might help. Any relitives or friends you can talk to. If you want help WorthATry seems to be the one to go to. Start a thread asking for her help.

RHM

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by RHM:
<strong>Start a thread asking for her help.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've been called some weird things, but never a "her." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

lurker - I've looked at your posts so far and you are NOT wrong about this affair. It is happening. Accept this and STOP trying to get your husband to admit it. He will not. The more you badger him to admit it, the deeper hole you will dig.

I suggest you keep your eyes and ears open for some hard evidence that you can reveal to the other woman's husband. Lay low and the evidence will come - WSs are extremely careless sooner or later. This exposure will be your most powerful tool. If you already have some acquaintance with this family, consider talking to the husband about your suspicions - before you have hard evidence.

In the meantime, get a copy of "Surviving An Affair" and read it thoroughly. Then read it again. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. Address ALL your husband's complaints about your marriage - even if they are trivial.

mbl,

At the very least,your H is being very cruel and uncaring by not alleviating your concerns here.If he was truly in a committed marriage with you and nothing was going on,doesn't is stand to reason that he would be comforting you and not making you feel badly? His actions to don't speak of a loving and caring H.

Plus,your gut is screaming at you that something isn't right and it isn't.Your WH can deny till the cows come home but that doesn't make it the truth.We have all been lied to before,right to our faces.When dealing with a particularly strong conflict avoider or secretive person they will always give you the impression that you are the one that is crazy.Your WH isn't even open to talking about his when he doesn't want to right? And refusing to go to MC isn't a good choice either.If he did care about the marriage he would be trying to work this out with you not stonewalling.

What you need to do now is play PI or hire someone for you.The only way this might actually blow wide open to suit your WH is by having physical evidence that you can hand to him and say "Here you go".Many WS's deny,deny,deny until the BS hands them concrete evidence and then they admit.This is what we recommend when you are dealing with someone such as your WH.

mb,I had the same gut instincts as you all along and you know what? I followed them and they were right on the entire time.Don't sell yourself short.Many women,in my experience,don't believe in themselves when it comes to their H's but I think you have much to be concerned about.

O

WAT got it you sexy thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ March 07, 2005, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: mb_lurker ]</small>

oops......deleted the whole post.

Ok so my plan is to keep up with the MB principles. I've been doing those for about 6 months now. The meeting ENs and no LBs. No more questions about the ow. Just sit tight and see what happens. Oh and start snooping around a little.

Thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I feel better, today.

when you "caught them" at the airport----what was her plan to get home??? did she drive herself, have someone picking her up---or all of a sudden did she need a cab?