I feel like taffy inside, being stretched and pulled in different directions at any given time. I’ve been having such a hard time coping since I found out. My husband has been kind and patient, and I tell him how much I appreciate it, even though I still seem so sad.

Last night he said something that bugged me, even though he was just trying to help. He asked me if I thought it might be easier for me to recover if we separated for a while. He said he didn’t want to separate, but wanted to do whatever it takes to help me. The thing is, that while I appreciate his sentiment, I was hurt deeply. Yes, I have thought about separation (for a time) too, but I never brought it up because I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. What kills me is that he did…that he could even consider being away from me. I wanted him to “need me” so much that even the thought of being separated would devastate him. And the fact that he brought it up made me wonder if he loves me enough. Does that make sense? I know he was only trying to be helpful, but in a way, I would have preferred him to be selfish in this area. I want him to fight for me, for us, with every fiber of his being. Instead, it felt like he was waving the white flag. Am I crazy for feeling like this? Does this mean he doesn't love me enough?

<small>[ March 09, 2005, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: Broken Hearted1 ]</small>

BH,

Have you taken any advice that we all gave you before in your other thread? Have you exposed the A yet to the OW's H?

It's great to be "kind and patient" if you are not discussing what went on and your WH's addictions.If you are going to,again,tippy toe around your WH so as not to hurt him or be submissive(your statements) then nothing is going to change.

Separating is not going to help anything IMO.It only makes you separate and this would give your WH ample room to be deceitful again if he isn't still being that now.

How's this working for you?

What's your plan BH?

O

I posted in plan A/B forum hoping to get some help with my plan. We have gone to counseling once already.