Yesterday I had a bad day. I felt really distrubed. Restless kinda. My H was at work, he came home and was being really cool. I was depressed and agitated. I hadn't done the dishes and just sat outside trying to pull myself together. He did the dishes and was actually nice about it. Huh? Usually gets angry if he has to do anything around here. He cooked dinner, worked on the kids bikes, and had a good attitude the whole time. I got on my bike and rode with my daughter, thought it might change my attitude. It helped until he tried to help our son on his bike and stoped infront of the OW's house. (If you read my prior posts the OW has moved in across the street). I lost it. I loved busted about her by saying something to my adult daughter within earshot of H. He got angry and took the money out of my pocket like he was going somewhere. He said he'd give me something to talk about. I said he already has done a good job of that. (Numerous sexual incounters in the past). He left but came back within minutes (used to go get drunk if he left in anger). I was headed up stairs and so was he. Once upstairs in our room he asked me what was wrong. I told him he didn't need to stop infront of OW house to help our son. That he needed to avoid any indication that he was looking for attention or notice from her. He said he doesn't even think about her and that he is just as upset that she moved in across the street as I am. I do know he was just as shocked as I was that she moved in there. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this. I'm not sorry I told him all this. I apolized for the love busting but told him how would he like it if the guy I had an affair with moved in across the street. I feel that I am dealing with it as best as possible under the circumstances. He was very understanding and told me that I am the only one he is in love with and that me and kids are his only concern. I explained that I am shell shocked from all his past behavior but that I do see a change in him and that I believe him. Now my question is how do I get past the shock of all of this behavior of the past. He said he had things to overcome too. He meant the fall I had that he set me up for. I told him, you mean the one affair I had when I was out of my mind because of all the hell he put me through? I called it off (the affair) when I came to my senses and through the crep out of our home. My H was in jail after a sexual fling with some "lady?" he met in the bar that he wanted to move in our home. Has any one gone through this and come out of it? CL I think your story is similar to mine. My husband is dianosed with BPD but is overcoming remarkably upon understanding of his sickness. I'm just overwhelmed with the last 6 and 1/2 yrs. Any one else dealing with mental illness and know of the hardships of the spouse (me)? Any input on this would help. We are not only in recovery for our marriage but also for my H illness. Feeling kinda crazy but it's getting better.<BR>Ginn

Dear Ginn,<P>You certainly have your hands full.<P>I have a question.... Have you ever prayed for patience? If so, stop! Because it seems when I pray for patience - I get lots of chances to practice learning it...<P>There is this little blonde bimbo, who used to live with her mom across the street that my husband told me he "thought was cute". After a 5 month separation, I moved from CA to MN to the house he bought for us. Nothing had happened at that time.<P>She was nice as pie. 6 months later, however, she cannot make eye contact, and can't even say hi if I pass her in Wal-mart. I think it went further after our separation was over.<P>She moved out of mom's house, and down the street and around the corner. There are only 152 people in this town, so as far as I am concerned, she's too close for comfort.<P>I was making those comments for the last 3 years - I stopped only in May - and I'm not so obsessive about it now. She stops at her moms' house every day, between 5 and 6 pm. I usually go outside and smoke for a while - and when she is leaving I go in the house. <P>I am feeling a little more comfortable because my husband and I have been getting along terrific since I started the Plan A. We have setbacks, but the are getting fewer and lasting shorter amounts of time. We plan to finish the remodal and list the house for sale. <P>Ginn, keep doing your plan A, resist the urge, and concentrate on the marriage. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and your marriage.

Trustntruth, Yah, sounds if! This one is a blond bimbo too. I ran into her at the corner store, and she was all bouncy and thought she was something else. She's not! I got a real good look at her and the way she acts. She's a real number. I think my H has figured this out too. I guess he realized that what he has was far better than a flake like her. It still burns my a** that she would choose to move in across the street. (We live in a large city). I wonder if because her BF won't help support her that she thought my H would be a good target. I think perhaps her BF might be in on it. She also was seeing another guy at work with her BF's knowledge, so she said. Don't know! My H found out that both OW and BF go to the bar's and get peoples phone #'s and sleep around (swingers?). H wasn't to keen on this and cut off all communication as this is not what he is looking for. Decided that what he looking for was with me. Thank God for her big mouth, it worked against her.<BR>Ginn