Jim,<BR>Thanks for your advice and support, even in the midst of your own sorrow. Your wife truly doesn't know what she's missing.<P>Even though I only Plan A'ed for about 1 month, I think the previous 4 months of constant verbal abuse and unfounded accusations depleted my love bank pretty significantly. My H is an alcoholic/addict who was in recovery for almost 10 years. He relapsed a little over a year ago and life has been downhill since then. I lived through 8 yrs with his using behavior and I guess the fact that he's not sober leaves me pretty despairing. The OW, of course, drinks heavily and uses drugs, though H denies this and denies that he is drinking more than "a couple of beers once in a while."<P>I hope what Twyla says is true. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. From all you have given to others here, it is obvious that you are a great person and things are bound to improve in your life, with or without your wife.