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#457887 02/17/01 11:27 PM
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Dear Martha<P>I agree with you. I really do not know how you can tell that your WS really made a commitiment or not. <P>In my case, she continue to talk with other men by telephone and E-mail. Obviously, these men continue to say that they love her. I am implementing plan A without real love to her. The better way to say is I still have caring love to her. I sometime feel like looking for other women these day.

#457888 02/17/01 11:33 PM
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Dear Chaz:<P>Are you suggesting that I should just continue plan A without love? Then, she will eventually turn to me. My feeling to her is now numb even though I want this marriage back strong and romantic. <P>But, as I mentioned at my previous post. I myself like meeting other women who can meet my need. There is a lot out there for sure.<P>I feel really schizophrenic these days.

#457889 02/19/01 11:09 AM
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HHH:<BR><B>Dear Chaz:<P>Are you suggesting that I should just continue plan A without love? Then, she will eventually turn to me. My feeling to her is now numb even though I want this marriage back strong and romantic. <P>But, as I mentioned at my previous post. I myself like meeting other women who can meet my need. There is a lot out there for sure.<P>I feel really schizophrenic these days. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Of course you like meeting other women, the point is that many people we meet can meet the EN's we have, the objective is to let the one who is supposed to do it have the opportunity to do so.<P>I believe that whatyou have to do is remain in a position that doesnt LB to her, even if she is completly way out there. you need to put yourself in a position where her actions are not so in your face and hurtful, do not seek out information as it will only haunt you. be loving and make yourself desireable in her eyes (the best you can) and the grass suddenly gets green on your side again and whe she has an awakening with the OM she will seek you out.<P>I do not envy your position nor do i believe this to be at all easy. you have to decide whether you want it to succeed. if you really do, you have to have loving behavior that does not include other women.<P>take her out of the position of being able to continue to withdraw love so that you do not abandon the marriage completely. accept only loving behaviour from her and give only loving behavior to her. <P>a tall order but i think your best shot.<P>chaz

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