Hiyas... Brief update from last week. We had a fight and I demolished his cell phone. He broke a few things of mine. He was pissed and stopped off to work. Went to see him and resloved the fight and we made up and apologized to each other.<BR>He has been pretty good all week. She's still calling him though but sporadically.<P>Fast forward to last night (Sat)..<BR>Called H @ work and he already left- He should of been home within 10 min. We live close to work. I had a feeling he was either @ where she was working or at the apt. where all his things are still but hasn't slept there since 2/13. So, me and the girls drove to the place where she was working and Lo and Behold her car and his were out there and he was in her car! So, I parked behind their cars and went up to the window and greeted them both. I asked H to get out so I may speak with him and he said, "I am trying to say Goodbye Hon". Hmmmm... ok... Fine! I told H I wanted to talk to her. He said why and I told him I needed to do this(in a calm manner of course- boy I was suprised how calm I was!). I went to the car she locked the door... I asked her to open the door she did... I asked her to put down the tireiron..... After calming her down I told her no harm would come to her if she put it down. I took it out of her hand and put the iron in the back seat. I told her that I was hurt and saddened and betrayed by what her and H had done. I told her how that I loved her as if she were one of my own children(which I did due to the fact she is 18 and worked for us and we befriended her and treated her with love and opened our home to her.)What she did with H was wrong and nearly destroyed me and the kids. I pointed out to her that someday she will find a guy who will love and cherish her and treat her like a princess but, the man she is with right now is not the one. I told her their relationship is based on lies and dishonesty and thats not how relationships last.<BR>That man she is with is my husband who we both made a promise before God, family and friends 13 yrs ago to love each other and to protect each other till the day we die. I explained what she did to the kids was going to put them into counseling soon(the girls adored her till she started playing head games with them). I got a tearful apology and how this should have never happened. I remained calm and told her it happened and it was a mistake. We are all human. But I DID however tell her this: Someday will will feel the pain and sorrow and Hell you have put me through the last 10 weeks. I hope it never happens and I would not wish that anguish upon my worst enemy. I told her I love H with all my heart and with all that I am. I told her I will not let go of him. He is the one I love. Boy oh boy.... Did this feel GOOOOOD! The entire time H was standing at the door with the window down enough for him to hear this. I stroked her face with a loving hand she remembers, said my goodbye to her and got out of the car, kissed H and told him I'd see him at home. Man, I had no idea I was this strong! I asked him when H got home if he was mad at me for the talk I had with her and he said no. I now believe he sees me as a woman who is strong and loves him for all that he is good or bad. <P>Whatcha think????

In general... it is rarely recommended to meet the OP face-to-face.<P>The risks of bad results is high...<BR>...driving your WS into the arms of the OP<BR>...building up distrustful feelings in your WS<BR>...getting nothing but lies from both the WS and OP<BR>...turning it into an LB.<P>But the occasional does happen...<BR>...you knew your situation best...<BR>...you obviously knew the honest feeeling of your H...<BR>...your knowledge of the OP had alot to do with it too!<P>For most I argue against contact...<P>For you... it seems to have worked.<P>Don't get too smug by this...<BR>...show strength now in your growth...<BR>...by Plan A-ing.<P> <P>Jim

Thanks Jim..<BR>Words of encouragement I truly need right now because the roller coaster is coming down again (ugh).<BR>OP is still calling him. H is soo deep in La La Land he is in a huge depression. He won't go the MD for meds and he won't go to counseling. Seeing as though he is now drinking more now to escape life on top of this is making it even harder. This week he has started off in A**h*le mode and its pissing me off. He is now insisting he gets a new cell phone which, I will not purchase for him. He has no need for one. When he's not at work, he's usually home or with me and I already have a cell phone. He still won't bring home any of his things home from the apt <BR>he has been renting a room from a friend and I did a little snooping and I found a bottle of Astroglide in a drawer.(gag)<BR>I also was told last night that enjoys having "18 yr old sex". I didn't know if I wanted to scream, cry or deck him. I just left it alone. He also won't tell me what EN he needs or what EN he was missing that led to all this <BR>turmoil. I have been Plan Aing now since January and I am getting sick of the fact he tells me he is "trying to end it" and turns around and she calls him daily! His friends are pissed at him. All except for his best friend won't talk to him. My one girlfriend and her H don't want my H around because they are upset with this. And this makes me very sad because I miss going to see them and playing poker. H won't take me out to a movie dinner or anything and the same goes for going out w/ the kids. I wish he wakes up soon because I am getting so sick of living like this I want to just jump to Plan B and let him see what life would be like without me and the girls. Lets see how long he'll like me not working at our business together. BTW, do you know if Dr. Harley accepts insurance? We're paying $600+/month for health insurance and would hate to keep looking for a Marriage counselor I don't like. The last one I had I didn't care for. The only up side to this is I have now lost 50 lbs. The Prez of our company told him I was looking super and if he didn't wake up soon, I'd have Noo problem finding another man> he he he. Anyways, enough of my Blah blah blahs. <BR>Thanks Again Jim.

It's not if the Harleys accept insurance...<BR>...it's if the insurance company will pay it...<P>To move to Plan B...<BR>...after only 2 months...<BR>...is a bit premature...<P>...but sometimes it has to happend that quick.<P> <P>Jim

Angel Bear, I feel for you terribly.<P>I'm glad you did so well in your encounter with the OP. But sorry things not going well with H. I had a short spell with him still at home, and I went through hell every day because not for a moment could he consider giving up the OW, who was my best friend.<P>What are you supposed to do when they are completely unable to let go of the OW and start talking? Mine has left and is living with her, and it IS easier, because at least I'm not constantly dealing with someone who should love me but is cold and hostile.<P>I hope things work out well for you, whether that's with or without your husband. I hope both our H's wake up one day and realise the wrong they have done and the pain they have caused.<P>Emma in UK

Well dear, I feel that you are in terible situation here, It seems to me that your hubby hardly deserve you. Is he so stupit or dum, that he can't and will never have it both ways, if he want's to move back in with you he has to put an end to ALL yes ALL conection to his mistress. She's totaly out of his dayly thoughts/his mind. He has to understand that. It's only YOU, and caring for you and your kids. That's all from me to you<P>Teespoon !<P>Try to get him into the "Teespoon" with you after he has reoliced what he was doing to your marriage<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AngelBear:<BR><B>Hiyas... Brief update from last week. We had a fight and I demolished his cell phone. He broke a few things of mine. He was pissed and stopped off to work. Went to see him and resloved the fight and we made up and apologized to each other.<BR>He has been pretty good all week. She's still calling him though but sporadically.<P>Fast forward to last night (Sat)..<BR>Called H @ work and he already left- He should of been home within 10 min. We live close to work. I had a feeling he was either @ where she was working or at the apt. where all his things are still but hasn't slept there since 2/13. So, me and the girls drove to the place where she was working and Lo and Behold her car and his were out there and he was in her car! So, I parked behind their cars and went up to the window and greeted them both. I asked H to get out so I may speak with him and he said, "I am trying to say Goodbye Hon". Hmmmm... ok... Fine! I told H I wanted to talk to her. He said why and I told him I needed to do this(in a calm manner of course- boy I was suprised how calm I was!). I went to the car she locked the door... I asked her to open the door she did... I asked her to put down the tireiron..... After calming her down I told her no harm would come to her if she put it down. I took it out of her hand and put the iron in the back seat. I told her that I was hurt and saddened and betrayed by what her and H had done. I told her how that I loved her as if she were one of my own children(which I did due to the fact she is 18 and worked for us and we befriended her and treated her with love and opened our home to her.)What she did with H was wrong and nearly destroyed me and the kids. I pointed out to her that someday she will find a guy who will love and cherish her and treat her like a princess but, the man she is with right now is not the one. I told her their relationship is based on lies and dishonesty and thats not how relationships last.<BR>That man she is with is my husband who we both made a promise before God, family and friends 13 yrs ago to love each other and to protect each other till the day we die. I explained what she did to the kids was going to put them into counseling soon(the girls adored her till she started playing head games with them). I got a tearful apology and how this should have never happened. I remained calm and told her it happened and it was a mistake. We are all human. But I DID however tell her this: Someday will will feel the pain and sorrow and Hell you have put me through the last 10 weeks. I hope it never happens and I would not wish that anguish upon my worst enemy. I told her I love H with all my heart and with all that I am. I told her I will not let go of him. He is the one I love. Boy oh boy.... Did this feel GOOOOOD! The entire time H was standing at the door with the window down enough for him to hear this. I stroked her face with a loving hand she remembers, said my goodbye to her and got out of the car, kissed H and told him I'd see him at home. Man, I had no idea I was this strong! I asked him when H got home if he was mad at me for the talk I had with her and he said no. I now believe he sees me as a woman who is strong and loves him for all that he is good or bad. <P>Whatcha think????</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><P>------------------<BR>Teskeiðin