I should title this post "Lost in NJ" or something.<P>I went to plan B yesterday after having Steve Harley suggest it several weeks ago. Things had been sliding downhill, and then I found a voicemail left accidently when my H bumped his cell phone and it dialed my cell. It left a long record of him driving some giggling woman home at 1 AM.<P>I'm actually incredibly tired of the whole mess. I don't think he'll come around, not while he is still an untreated alcoholic and I'm just about ready to move on. I'd already filed for divorce last October before he begged to reconcile and to start MB counseling. <P>He moved us down here in the middle of nowhere just before the whole nasty mess of his affair started in Nov 99. I'm an hour away from any friends or family. I haven't really set down any roots, and I have 3 small kids - 2 of which have serious emotional problems, and the other one is only 4 months old!<P>I am really just about ready to run away. I've got an appointment to talk with Steve next week, but I just need some encouragement or something right now - I don't know what. I'm a stay at home mom with no job, so trying to work this out is in my kids best interest....but I don't think its in my best interest at all anymore.<P>I'm just tired, angry, sad and burned out.

Hi BrambleRose,<P>Did you write/give him a Plan B letter yet?<P>I'm praying for you.<P>Any chance of moving back to where family is?<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim,<P>Thank you for your response both here and on my other more panicked thread. <P>Yes, I wrote the plan B letter and delivered it via email.<P>No, I can't move back by my family, they are out of state. His family is an hour away and very supportive, but I can't afford to live in their county. It's outrageously expensive up there. <P>Thank you so much for the prayers, I need them tonight!

I read what you wrote and can't imagine how much this must be hurting you. I'm sorry. I would like to ask, why can't you move back to your family just because they are out of state? <P>I'm in a foreign country, my husband's country at that, and am facing the need to return to my family. They are three continents away. I'm willing to make the move though. Like you I've children, 10 months to 9 years and 3 in between. I don't work as well. My family is ready to accept me, as I am, and my H's family is willing to pay to help me get home if I so choose. Maybe you could pose the same to your family and inlaws. <P>Sometimes one has to put their pride aside and do what is best for the kids. In my case, my H is not what is best. Not when he acts as he does although he is a loving father and good to the children. His actions destroy my ability to be a good mother and when I'm home all day with them, they need a good mother and they deserve it.<P>Please reconsider what you really can or can't do. If I can go across continents, seems you should be able to go to another state. (Wishful thinking!)<P>Best of luck.