Hi,<BR>My husband was one of those "sweep it under the carpet" husbands. He never gave me any details on the "relationship". He never admitted to me there was SEX involved. When he was discovered in May, he acknowledged my hurt and pain and was very reassuring that it was over.<P>His behavior to me now is very normal and not defensive. He is loving, affectionate and playful.<P>I knew he was speaking to another woman early this year, but I finally hired a P.I. and he followed him to her house in May. That was the time I gave him the ultimatum.<BR>He chose me and told me it was "over" between them, but still denied that he ever had sex with her after spending 4 hours at her house.<P>Since he does not work every day and spends alot of time at home, how do we know its REALLY, REALLY over?<P>When it was going on, I thought if there was a book on how to tell if your spouse was having an affair, I swear there would be a picture of him on page 1.<P>The signs were clear: I over heard a conversation he had with her on the cell phone on the side of my house, He was working out alot, strange smells on clothes, defensive behavior when I asked what he did during the day, no sex with me (sex was wonderful with him), disappearing during the day, alot of rides at night, very little affection with me, lots of pages on the pager (very cryptic).<P>So how do we know its REALLY REALLY OVER?????<BR>

Hi, I don't have the answer you're looking for, but I wanted to say that it's that uneasy feeling that drives me crazy. I'm engaged to be married Sept. 25th, 1999. I don't know if my fiance has been unfaithful physically, but I recently discovered he responded to an internet personal ad. He has always mistrusted me and I've done everything to prove myself. I now feel as though he mistrust me because he can't be trusted. I've caught him in little lies that he said he mentioned things to his mother and when I spoke to her she didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. Today he said he was talking to his step-father and I called to find out. I HATE MYSELF for doing it, partly because he said they were talking and partly because I'm a trusting person and he has driven me to that. We have counseling tonight and we are meeting with his Pastor Saturday. I hate this empty feeling.<P>All I can say is good luck. When I feel like I'm loosing control, I'm glad I found this message board to share.<P>God Bless!<P>------------------<BR><BR>~~ Lady K ~~<BR>