Well, we've been in recovery for about 6 weeks, and without going into all the details...he's resumed contact with her on some level...don't know if it's messages or activly engaged in the affair again. He denies everything, and I've had just about enough. I feel like a doormat meeting his needs while watching him go through the fog. We had a huge fight last night, and he refuses to see why I haven't gotten over this and why I'm not trusting him 100% again...does he think I'm THAT stupid. So, I'm thinking about saying let's take a complete break from each other and work on our own lives..if we're meant to be, then we will be. I'm tired of being hurt, and am fast losing any remaining love for him.<BR>Need advice<BR>T

Yes...<P>You can go back to Plan B again...<BR>...just not like a ping-pong ball.<P>In recovery... there is usually a stage where the WS has to accept being check up on...<BR>...it's part of becoming humble and having humility infront of the Faithful Spouse(FS)...<P>...it's a follow-up to the conditions of Plan B...<BR>If it doesn't happen...<BR>...recovery is very difficult.<P>I'm praying for you.<P> <P>Jim

Jim! It's so good to hear from you! Always a man of wisdom. Here's the deal. The more hindsight I use, the clearer picture I get. This is a man you believes that all the rules must have been made for other people. (Common trait with doctors)He is absolutely appalled when his honesty or integrity is questioned both professionally and personally. He refuses to take blame for anything, even a speeding ticket. He always has an excuse. He has a staff and a bevy of patients who think is he is God, and work themselves to death for him. He is well-liked, handsome and very charming. I'm probably fortunate that he still hasn't finalized his divorce (sepearated for years)as I would have married him. Indeed, I've been waiting to marry him. But as committed as I have been to this guy for the last 10 years, I'm beginning to think this relationship has taken too much out of me. I want time to step back and look at this realistically without the confusion of the half-truths, physical pleasure, and insecurity. I want my cake and to eat it too! So, I'm trying to decide how to do this. How do I say "I think I love you, but I need to step back" and not lose all the good we have had. And not lose him...or maybe I should lose him. This fence sitting is nuts!<BR>T