I have mostly been posting in the emotional needs section but was told that I need to post here. I am so caught up in marriage crap right now I can't see straight. My H is having an affair. He says he does not love her but he has been physical ( to avoid to much detail and make this long story short) he's not living at home. Everytime I try to break it off he comes back by phone or email in a panic. I love you, I want to come home, you are the one and only, but when I say so come home he says, I don't know when. THis has been back and forth and back and forth for months now. I don't know whether I am coming or going. He won't stop talking to her and just insists it's a "how was your day" call but they've slept together. He says he's coming home, he can't give a date. If I say then it's over, leave me alone he says he will come find me. If I block my email he calls my work. It's up and down and back and forth, I'm coming home, I'm not coming home. TOnight I had an enlightening conversation with this mother. She was acutally pissed that I called there. What she did not know was that H has been calling me and emailing me and sending me love like notes on the ICQ chat program hoping to catch me online. Apparently there are two versions of this story going around, or possibly there, one for me, one for mom and one for lover. <P>I dont' know what to do. I can't take it anymore and my head is about to explode. Please I can't deal with this. Somone guide me.

Welcome <B>Aspur2</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>What to do...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>And...<BR>Do open up an honest line of discussion with your H...<P>If you don't... things will change... only for the worse though!<P>Don't worry about the story-telling your H is now doing...<BR>...its part of what we call the "fog".<P>Stay here and ask as many questions as you can...<P>Do get the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank> "Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A> as your guide through this very very hard time.<P>You are not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>