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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 212
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 212 |
Hi Jim, <BR>Please comment on my reply.<P>You are right. Might cause irritation, and you don't know when you cross the line.<P>Some forum members have suggested that I write regular notes about children, house.<P>If I limited it to children, want to venture an opinion about just keeping notes focused on them.<P>Thanks, thinking of you. elo<P>
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
Hi liz,<P>I can agree with sending notes about... <B>just the kids</B>!<P>But a one-time Plan A letter isn't enough.<BR>Send separate letters... love letters that have nothing to do with the kids...<BR>Send separate letters... about you... since you are still married to your H.<P>Send pictures... flowers... whatever...<BR>...occasionally(not often) they can be sent through the kids (but make sure the kids don't know the content).<P>Only you will know when a "smothering effect" is taking place... (you H will let you know)... and then yuo can back off a bit.<P>Keep up the good work!<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Jim
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 212
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 212 |
Hi Jim,<P>You are so kind to reply so quickly because I am really struggling with this one.<P>Since I am keeping my expectations low, and because there is no divorce action (at not yet), then, I feel as though<BR>letters and notes would keep our memory alive deep within in his foggy mind.<P>So, you suggest more than one Plan A letter. CAn I send one now? It has been since March 3. Once a week?<P>Should I just take my cue from him? <BR>Hope he doesn't see this as harrassment.<P>Will compose one tonight and reflect on its contents.<P>I once read that if a ws does begin to let go of the op, it could be when ow annoyances become greater than what the op is providing the ws.<P>So, now, what could she do that would begin to annoy him?<P>HmMMMMM, really have to think about this one?<P>thanks, Jim.<BR>elo<P>
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
liz,<P>Send them as frequently as he can accept them...<BR>...weekly if it's OK with him...<P>If he takes it as harassment...<BR>...do back off<BR>...apologize if he is vehement...<P>be gentle<BR>be humble<BR>be patient<P>...the time of lost love may come quickly...<BR>...for as long as possbile... hang in there.<P>hey... don't forget...<BR>...you are loved!<P> <P>Jim<BR>
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