I have to find a way to help my wife. I believe she really wants to rebuild our marriage, but she does'n't trust herself.She has attempted to end the situation because she feels the hypocracy of it all, but he has called her. She is mad at herself for not rejecting the call. How do I help her see that I am OK with where she is right now, and get her to trust the process will work. I am afraid she is going to go through with a divorce , not because she wants one, but because she wants to punish herself and doesn't trust herself, because she doesn't understand how this happened to her <P>------------------<BR>Mark H

Mark H.<BR>I feel for you because I am in the same situation. I am hopeful that my husband of 18 years will do the right thing and remain in this marriage at least to determine if it is worth saving. I think my husband wants to end contact, the PA ended 2 months ago. I am trying to create an enviornment for him where he feels comfortable sharing everything with me, even some of his pain. Yes that hurts; but what led us to this mess was him sharing with her and not me. When he is open, I don't question or make him feel guilty. I just look at him lovingly and let him know it's OK. Plan A here. 6 weeks and going strong sometimes and not other times. Read these posts. If someone had told me how strangers would help me through this crisis, I would not have believed it, but they do, every day!<BR>Good luck to you Mark. Please hang in there and continue to try to save your marriage.