I have gone through plan B and finally got to the point where it was clear she would not leave him. Filed for divorce and just before it was final she decided to stop seeing him. I put things on hold. Her point is that she still does not feel the way that she should feel with me. She has started to talk to him again but says she will not see him. She says that this is not the problem though, the problem is how she feels with me. I understand that and agree but at the same time I need to feel good about what I am doing. My feelings are, if she would like to see if we could make it work then she needs to commit to not talking to him. I have given her over a year and a half and she still has her heart hang with him. My question is, should I give her more space and let her talk to him or should I let the divorce go through. I feel as long as she is talking to him she still has her heart tied up and will not be able to feel right with me. Any thoughts would be welcome.

My advice to you is to continue with the D. Talking to the OM continues her emotional involvement with him. The only way she can undergo withdrawal from her relationship with the OM is to stop all contact. If she is not willing to do this your marriage might as well be over. She will be living with you but her heart will belong to the OM.

I would give her a few days to decide of she will commit to a full recovery plan (including not speaking with him), and if not proceed.<P>