HI All,<BR>I just experienced something that was so terribly sad, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes.<BR>I had an wonderful christmas. I had the pleasure of seeing my brother for the first time in 5 yrs. He lives out of the country.<BR>Now for the sad part. His wife left him 2 yrs ago after falling for the hamburger cook at a local stand. The cook is 20 yrs her jr. She ran off with the cook, left their son. Of course this was terrible for my brother but he did have his son. About 6 mos later, she wanted to see the child, essentially kidnapped him and came back to the states, after the cook dumped her. For a yr the family hired PIs, contacted police, etc in an attempt to locate the child. No luck at all. About 4 mos ago the wife phoned my parents asking for money. Seems another OM left her and the child with no resources, no car, etc. The wife and child live abt an hr from me, but have not been there long. There have been a series of men in the house the past few mos.<BR>The wife agreed to let me take the child to my parents for christmas. My brother came in on Christmas eve and we had a wonderful holiday. This evening I had to take the child back to his mother. My brother offered but the wife refused-stating she did not feel comfortable. <BR>The child has been with his father only 5 days in the last 2 yrs, and the bond is still so strong. I was so sad watching them hug and kiss goodbye, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I could not drive and had to pull over for a few minutes to get my act together. The child was crying and I needed to be supportive, not emotional! My brother was sobbing, waving til we could not see him anymore. <BR>Should any 12 yr old child be exposed to all this? The lies, the hiding, the different men in mom's bed. Gads, what a disaster. <BR>I guess I am angry that people should make such selfish choices, should allow themselves to fall into such a crevice.<BR>If any of you are contemplating whether to end a relationship with a married person, please consider what I wrote. Simply put, EAs ruin lives in many generations.<BR>THE KIDS ARE FIRST.

Oh cl, how horribly sad. You are right, the children are first.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

cl,<P>That is really terrible. Is there any hope for reconciliation of the marriage???

Cl,<BR>This is so sad. <BR>This is how my son would react to leaving his father. <BR>I am sorry.<BR>TNT

No chance at all for reconciliation. Brother is seeing a US attorney today about shared custody and divorce. He is going to propose school yr with him, summers with mom. He seems to be the more stable one, so hopefully it can be worked out, keeping the child's best interest FIRST!!!

cl<BR>I just had a minute to pop in and saw your post.<BR>so sad about your brother's son. I have seen wayyyyy too much damage done to children as a result of infidelity. It seems they often come last. <BR>The saddest thing is that it seems to be "taboo" to admit that the children might be affected. Sometimes it seems that they aren't important at all.<BR>My prayers are with your brother and his son. I'm so glad that you got to do some thing for them at Xmas.

cl,<P>I too am so sad to hear about your brother and his son. IN some states the age of consent is 12 or 14 where they can choos where they want to live. I guess thats nnot much of a consolation for the "loser".<P>I think people in EA all buy into the line kids are resilient, they will bounce back. I was reading a book that was looking at children of divorce 10-15 yrs down the road and found that they all had problem with relationships and bonding.<P>Best wishes and prayers!<P>Bob