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OK wife quit seeing the lovers some time ago, but we are still 1/2 Plan A
#458259 04/13/01 03:56 PM
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Wife quit cheating cold turkey. She still has tendencies toward a "free" lifestyle. She would go out if I weren't emotionally in the way. It's like I'm her conscience or something. I know that's bad of me to be her conscience. She is staying home even though we are going bankrupt literally. It is what she has to do. She has to be home with the kids, especially the 4 year old. She is re-establishing herself as full time Mommy. does this sound pathetic? I haven't really gotten the hang of Plan A yet. Now I have got it. Basically let the Giver take over as long as no long term damage is done physically or mentally to the kids and me. She has a huge Taker and she knows how to draw it out very very well. Any comments on this???
Re: OK wife quit seeing the lovers some time ago, but we are still 1/2 Plan A
#458260 04/13/01 05:22 PM
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Invictus,<P>The ideal would be to get your W into a support group of other WSs...<BR>...but... alas... there is none generally available.<P>An alternative sometimes recommended...<BR>...especially when money is tight...<BR>...is to have your W come here... and ask questions.<P>Sometimes trying... since it would typically mean you have to give up your safe haven...<BR>...and take on a new alias...<BR>...and carefully craft your questions... especially if you need that annonymity.<P>This has worked for some...<BR>...and not for others... but do consider it.<P>BTW: Don't cram too much down her throat...<BR>...remember... <B>PTC</B>.<P><BR>Much Love...<BR>...for Easter and beyond!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim
Re: OK wife quit seeing the lovers some time ago, but we are still 1/2 Plan A
#458261 04/16/01 08:37 AM
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Jim,<P>Sorry I'm a bit of a thick headed newbie hear. You said:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>Invictus,<P>BTW: Don't cram too much down her throat...<BR>...remember... PTC</B>.<P>Jim<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I understand the part about cramming too much down her throat. That is the mistake I have been making for 9 years, I now realize. What a fool!!! She just recoils every time I try to respectfully suggest a point of moral "logic." I can now see that I must not expect too much of my needs to be met right away. My wife does show promise though.<BR> <BR>What is PTC?
Re: OK wife quit seeing the lovers some time ago, but we are still 1/2 Plan A
#458262 04/16/01 11:48 AM
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You've got the idea already...<P>PTC = Patience, Time, and Consistency.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim<BR>
Re: OK wife quit seeing the lovers some time ago, but we are still 1/2 Plan A
#458263 04/16/01 01:47 PM
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[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>How strange that before the cheating I tried, but failed to these same ends. It has only been through my pain and great suffering that my wife has had a chance to open her eyes. We had many marital problems before, but we were always too wrapped up in self defence to promote each other. i too have been in a fog of sorts. Thank you.

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