Sheesh, Plan A is tough. It makes it even tougher because the fundamentals of it are a little contradictary to mine and my W's personality. <P>I think the fog is lifting SLOWLEY. Every day she does small, little things that make me feel so good. Small kisses, phone calls, emails....things I definatly took for granted in the past. I'm afraid of one thing though, my W has NEVER been one to talk about her feelings, even in the best of times. I'm convinced that even as the fog clears and she comes back to reality, she still won't express herself. Even though I'm the opposite, I accepted this fact about her long ago so I think it's wrong to want it out of her now. <P>Whenever I get really down because her "fog" is preventing her from telling me how she feels, I simply think about the fact that I get to go to sleep with her and wake up with her everyday. I beat the OM at his game, and something should be said about the fact that she ended it and came back to me. THAT makes me feel good If we survive this (and I think we will), THIS website will get full credit. Without it, I had no plan of action and no way to answer all the questions we had about A's. All of you who have posted or responded to my post...what more can I say than Thanks <P>Scarlet Pumpernickle

Yes, Plan A is hard...<BR>The expression usually used is that... Plan A is not for wimps!<P>But...<P>It's something you're going to have to learn!<BR>It (Plan A) represents 1/2 (the first 2) of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage</A>...<BR>And with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A> you have the basis for a sound and strong marriage.<P>Plan A... isn't just to get into recovery... <B>it is a life-time plan!</B><P>Counseling would be an ideal...<BR>...but you might want to consider...<BR><A HREF="http://www.wwme.org/new.html" TARGET=_blank>World Wide Marriage Encounter</A> or <A HREF="http://www.retrouvaille.org/" TARGET=_blank>Retrouvaille</A>...<BR>...for building communications!<P> <P>Jim

Scarlet:<BR>I am the BS. My hubby sounds like your W. He has always had a problem communicating with me and everyone. (Isn't hindsight great!) He had no problems communicating with her however. Perhaps the only positive thing about my situation (dday 3months ago) is that he realizes this and is seeking counselling to understand why he is that way. Of course he says that after counselling, he may no longer want to remain married to me. Heck, it's only been 17 years, two kids, idealic life or so I thought. There is so much pain and most of it stems from the fact that I need to talk but bringing up anything other than the NHL and NBA playoffs is an LB. Fortunately, I love sports!<BR>Scarlett, I get to sleep with him, but I want to touch him too. I want to hold him and kiss him. I want him in my arms so badly it hurts. Instead I'll lie there and let him feel safe. If it is God's will, hopefully just a bit of this fog will begin to lift for him. <BR>Exxon

Exxon,<P>I am grateful that I can hold, kiss and make love to her. She does want to be here w/ me, she's made that clear and I believe her. We need to understand how a loving, happy couple can have such a thing happen to them. Withoug this site, I'd still be confused. I'm not saying that this site is the be all end all solution, but for us, it seem damn close.<P>Good Luck Exxon, keep a stiff upper lip <P>Scarlet P