First time posting, but have been in forums since D-day 8 weeks ago. MB site has been a great help. Jim, your responses as moderator has been wonderful. Thanks. <BR>My husband and I were separated due to stresses with step kids after 10 yrs of marriage. We always loved each other but at the time, his daughter now 20 needed his full attention. I was not supportive of the situation. He lived with his daughter at his mothers house from 5/97 till 12/99 when he moved back with me. When we decided to reconcile, I told him if he had a girlfriend, he is not to come back. He assured me that there was no one and wanted to be with me. Well, you guessed it! He neglected to break off a relationship he was in for 2 years! I finally found out about it through the cell phone. He admitted everything, broke it off with her, changed his cell phone number, e-mail, and vowed he only wanted me. He said he had tried to break off with her numerous times, but she wouldn't have it. I don't believe that. He begged me to stay with him. When he thought I was kicking him out, he confessed to my parents and apologized to them. They have been very supportive. <BR>OW didn't know he was living with me for the last 1 1/2 years. I told her. His daughter and family knew he still was with OW. This has been humiliating to me. H has not made contact with her, although I know she has tried to contact him. He has rejected her. I know this through an early e-mail she sent him. H says he will do anything to stay together. We are in therapy together and he is going alone to work on his lying problem. So now I am in Plan A. I hope I can get over this. I have alot of bad thoughts all the time. We will see. Thanks for listening.

Welcome <B>vegaroe</B>...<P>You know about the ...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A>.<P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Yes do a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>But realize there is more...<BR>There are the other 2 of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage</A>... i.e.<BR><LI> <B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3904_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Time:</A></B> Take time to give your spouse undivided attention.<BR><LI> <B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Honesty:</A></B> Be totally open and honest with your spouse.<P><B>and</B>...<P>Learning... and practicing...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>the Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>...<BR>...do you have the book...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank> "Give & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A>?... It help me alot with understanding POJA!<P>You will be in my prayers...<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A><P>BTW: <B>OneGoing</B> is the moderator for the forum...<BR>...I just add my humble 2 cents a bit more frequently.

I wish my WS had rejected the OM. I pray for that every day. Your road to recovery will be tough, but at least your spouse has agreed to stop the affair and try to rebuild. Im still hoping that my W will do the same.