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Is this EA real or fantasy?
#458395 04/25/01 10:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 178
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david87
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david87
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My wife had a short 2 month PA, then her L was tossed in county jail. (so dramatic) The affair then became strictly an EA. I LBd and LBd before I finally found this site, then I went to plan A. Do you think the lack of physical contact will finally kill it or does the lack of reality keep it alive? So far the later has occured for roughly 9 months now woth letters, telephone call and jail visits. L also uses pity to keep her hanging on. He will hang himself, he cant go on in there without some hope. She feels compelled to help him get through his incarceration. I their more reason to have hope because the EA is based on fantasy only, no real life interaction?
Re: Is this EA real or fantasy?
#458396 04/25/01 01:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
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Confused FS Offline
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Confused FS
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David, from what I've read and what I've experienced, I believe an EA is much more damaging to a relationship than a PA. Also, the majority of what makes up an EA IS fantasy.<P>I don't understand how you feel that 9 mos. of letter, phone calls and jail visits constitutes a "lack of reality".<BR>I hate to say it, but all the letters, phone calls and jail visits ARE "real life interaction".<P>I'm sure her L will survive his incarceration with or without her, but what will her continued contact with him do to your marriage?<P>Think about it.<BR>
Re: Is this EA real or fantasy?
#458397 04/25/01 02:46 PM
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david87
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Thanks for the wake up call. You are correct. The relationship is real. Its just that there are no real life worries ie "bills" , "jobs" "kids" "social situations", "jealousy" "control" a meriad of things that must be endured by any couple. They dont experience these things. Thats the reality that does not exist in their perfect world. They cant even touch each other. Thats why I really wish he would get out, and try to meet her needs on the outside. I know from experience it's not easy.

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