Hi I am 2 mo past D-day which for me was Valentines Day morning when I discovered H hadnt gotten me anything and I confronted him and he finally confessed. ICK-spent that whole day crying my guts out in the waiting room of my family dr to get an antidepressant. Couldnt get an appt to see a therapist for wks since we live in gloomy Ohio and everyone here is depressed from lack of sunshine!My H said our marriage was 'over in his head' and thats why he had the A. He's broken it off with her 4-5 times and she moved to another state but he is still is in a foggy state of mind. Anyway! I have lost 15 lbs in 2mo ( didnt need to) and take effexor for breakfast sleeping pills to sleep. Coffee most of the day to get over the groggy feeling from the sleeping pills.I break out in weird rashes sometimes and my anxiety level is in high gear. If I ask him about the A he gets defensive so our therapist put us in separate sessions and we cant talk about things at home. Nor does he touch me in any way. He filed for divorce on me 2 wks ago then cancelled it. I am trying to keep my health intact though the stress is wearing me down.I have to keep myself together since I have 3 kids that dont know what he's done. I would love to know how the A has affected any of your health????? I pray I dont end up getting cancer or some immune disorder from having to keep my feelings inside myself. lifeismessy

Yes life is very messy. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling.My dday was the same as yours. Since then life has been terrible. I am also petite and have lost somewhere areound 20-25 lbs. My doctor prescribed anti depressants and sleeping pills, neither of which I plan to take. I do recommend that you take them. Most people believe they help. I guess I just want to feel the pain. I have eaten little over the past 9 weeks depending on how we are doing. It seems everytime I eat something bad happens, like he thinks I able to with stand more pain. <P>We have two children one of whom found out last night that daddy had a girlfriend. She is 13 and devastated. I can't concentrate on work because I can't wait to see her and comfort her. <P>No advice from me...sorry. Just know that someone out here cares about you and your children. I will say a little prayer for all of you. Please feel free to write back if you need to.<BR>God bless<BR>Exxon

delete<p>[This message has been edited by vernon3 (edited May 15, 2001).]

I have lost weight 20-25 pounds since d-day 2/15, too. I have moved on to more sensible eating habits recently, but found a couple of things help.<P>Take a vitamin or two to make sure your body is getting what it needs...I also drinka lot of juice---though I seem to offset that with a lot of beer recently, too :-)<P>Exercise. Walk, run bike do soemthing...you will be amazed at how this will make you feel better and allow your mind to clear some. It is not a cure-all but is definitely one easy thing you can do to make yourself feel at leasta little better...physically and emotionally, too.<P>

I don't really have a 'd-day'... I just use the day that I kicked H out, Feb 6th, 2001. I was almost 33 weeks pregnant with the twins at the time. I lost 20 lbs in 12 days. Needless to say, my obgyn was FURIOUS with me, but it wasn't anything I could help. And to boot, my blood pressure skyrocketed so much, that I was put in hospital on strict bed rest, in the hopes it would go down. After 2 days there, it was like a yo-yo. So I had an emergency c-section on Feb 17th.<P>Lucky me! (NOT!) I got the excitement of going through the pains of initial separation, post partum 'stuff', recovering from major abdominal surgery, AND the discovery of 2 A's.... all within a 3 week time frame.<P>My lochia lasted 8 weeks instead of 6. I have not gained any weight back (but I'm not concerned, as I have plenty I could do without still). Taking any medications were not an option, as I was breastfeeding. But ironically, I had to stop because I just couldn't do it anymore. I was too stressed out. <P>I am still getting very little sleep, sometimes b/c of the twins feedings, sometimes b/c of the stupid things my H is doing. Rashes? My stomach and breasts are constantly itchy. Nothing seems to cure it.<P>I've had 2 periods since the twins were born (the first started just as the lochia was stopping). And both have been very scary. I almost went to hospital the other day, fearing I was hemmorraging. I stuck it out at home though, and all is well now.<P>I'm also losing weight again this week. But, I dont' mind that fact. It's the reasons why I am, that I despise.<P>So, in answer to your question: YES! My health has most definitely been affected.<P>Karen<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Empathy is such a wonderful thing, but in situations like this, it's a shame we know how.