Dear Friends,<P>I guess anyone could say that I am a "High Maintainence" woman. I need a lot of attention, support, affection and love from my spouse and I need it in certain ways. Sounds demanding, huh? I'll bet I'm not alone though. Since we met, my H has displayed a knack for meeting those needs to a "T" most of the time. But there are times when occasionally he falls short of being there for me. Never out of a lack of interest or energy, but because he cannot see eye to eye with me on some issues.<P>Point in case: this AM as we went to bed after working long night shifts, my worries about my mother's newly diagnosed breast cancer surfaced and I started crying, I'd actually even been crying before I got into bed but didn't want him to see me. I didn't have the words to talk about it right then. There are a lot of unknowns right now about her condition - it may be something that can be eliminated with further surgery. Or, it might not be - in the words of her doctor "We may be dealing with something that's a whole lot worse that we realize right now." <P>So, here I am beginning to deal with this bundle of sh*t and I really just need to talk when I'm calm and be held while I'm crying. Which he did hold me this AM. But after I'd cried for a few moments (longer than I guess he deemed appropriate for 'worry concerning cancer found in mother') he asked me "I don't see what you're so upset about anyway." Or words to that effect. At that point, as I said before, I didn't have it in me to explain to him that this is far more painful that I'm letting on to anyone. I mean I go to the bathroom at work for a quick pit-stop and because I've stopped running around and have a second to think, I start crying! It just wells up, and it's getting too much to hold inside. And I DONT want to bring it up when I'm not thinking directly about it. So, feeling hurt, misunderstood, and angry, I told him to get off of me. We slept apart, not touching. When we awake, he acts like nothing happened. "What's the matter," he asks. <P>I know I need to find a way to communicate better with him at these times. He's not a mind reader and he's got things he's upset about too. But he needs to realize that this is the kind of thing that began the cracks in the foundation of our relationship a long time ago. It just never changes. I feel like he KNOWS me and he's just playing possum, acting like he has NO CLUE what he said or did that upset me. I also feel like he knew what I needed earlier when I was crying, but because he feels like it's too soon to worry until we know more, he witheld his support. I think he's being stubborn and unyeilding and harsh because he would deal with this situation differently were it his mother (god forbid). <P>So, kids, any ideas on how I can better communicate with my H? We are both at the end of our ropes with this issue - it's like hearing the same record being played over and over and over ... How do I change my way of communication to make it more effective? <P>Khyra <P>