Other than worrying about how the BS is holding out, is there any danger of trying to stay in Plan A as long as possible?<P>My wife (the WS) and I are separated but are still on very friendly terms and talk on a daily basis. She lives about five minutes away. I'm still able to meet her some of her basic needs, whether it comes to solving or planning issues with the kids or even casual conversation. <P>I've been continuing under the principle that the longer and more effective Plan A I do, the better chance Plan B will have if and when I actually get there.

I don't know if you've tried counselling, Steve Harley is very good.He is available via telephone , you can schedule a session from the Counsel tab on this site. He would be a good point of reference as to when it might be time for plan B.I'm also considering plan B.Was there an affair? Why did you seperate? <p>[This message has been edited by Family Man (edited May 12, 2001).]

I've spent about eight sessions or so with Steve. He wanted me to go into Plan B about a month ago. I tried and it lasted about a day. I had an issue with Plan B and dealing with the kids.<P>The thing is, I informed my kids of my wife's affair at that time. OP is a not only a woman, but was a close friend to them. I had a real issue with my wife trying to keep OP in their lives. Since the revelation, my kids want to have no part of her. This was like a breath of fresh air to me. Since my wife and I share custody, one week here and one week there, she has backed off seeing this OP. Although I know she still sees her when kids are with me. I believe she is starting to see there is no future in what she is trying to do if she wants the kids to be a part of her life. My wife has repeatedly told me and two other counselors (one was Steve) that she does not consider herself to be homosexual.<P>Things seemed to be starting to come together. I think my wife realizes that I could really screw things up for her with a couple of phone calls if I wanted to. The OP is also her supervisor at work. The fact that I haven't done anything has gained her trust. Her parents also now know. Like Steve has stated to me, as her world starts to crumble around her, I want to be the one standing there with open arms.<P>Whether I'm in Plan A or B when that happens is only a matter of time. I can only continue to work on things while I'm in Plan A and for now I feel there is a lot more to do...