Hi,<BR> I suspect that my wife who is having an affair with her boss has Borderline Personality Disorder. Does any one of you have a similar situation? Can someone suggest psychiatrists who have been successful in treating this disorder in San Francisco/San Jose/Oakland area? Any suggestions on custody/divorce? How does Plan A/ Plan B work here?<P>Thanks,<P>Kazak

I've read up on personality disorders before. There are more people then you realize who could have this diagnosis hung on them. My mom for one. I do know that they are almost impossible to "cure" or treat. I'd suggest that you start by doing some research on the internet.<P>Don't think it will hold up in court as a reason to take custody from her.<P>E

From what I understand about this particular disorder, Plan A may see some pretty quick results, if you know this person well, but Plan B would have it's greatest impact upon it's mere suggestion; not after it has been instituted for any length of time.<P>By no means is this a professional opinion. My understanding of psychology is freshman level, persued as a hobby (elective!) more than as a course of study.

Hi,<BR> Thanks for the suggestion. My problem is that people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) exhibit what is called splitting. They view people in extremely black or extremely white fashion. For example my wife thinks that her boss is God and that I am a demon. This makes Plan A almost ineffective in my opinion. Some of the titles of books in this area are "Love and Loathing", "I hate you, but dont leave me" etc.. If you know of specific bulletin boards for people who are in a relationship with BDPs please let me know.<P>Thanks,<P>Bejoy

I think I saw another post of yours this week. Did she actually get a medical dignosis after taking a slew of tests and evaluations. Or was it that your courselor said he/she thought you wife might have BPD?<P>

Welcome <B>kazak</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> for more info!<P>About "Borderline Personality Disorder"... the thoughts are around other MB forums... I searched for a couple of posts...<BR>check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/007991.html" TARGET=_blank>Infidels have personality disorders??</A> and an older post...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/004708.html" TARGET=_blank>What do you do when a personality disorder is involved??</A><P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Hi,<BR> Thanks for all the helpful suggestions and advice.<P> No I have not seen a psychiatrist yet. Is suspect that my wife has Borderline Personality Disorder purely based on my reading and information on the net. So, it is not a positive diagnosis. However, the symptoms are so scarily accurate that I could not beleive it. The experience of those who have a romantic relationship with a Borderline is so eerily similar to mine. It is like a light switch went on which explains every action for the past 7 years!!<P> I am hoping to get advice from a good psychiatrist on how to proceed from now. In particular the impact of BPD parents on children.<P> Thanks,<P>Kazak

I have been diagnosed with Boderline Personality DIsorder and am also a Manic/Depressive. My doctor's feel that it has played a big part in my affairs and other reckless behavior. If you really believe you wife may be suffering from BPD, she needs to get treatment as soon as possible. With medication and therapy she can lead a normal life and have a healthy marriage.<P>------------------<BR>God, Family and Career, in that order