I got a call from H last night. I had been out of town for five days spending Christmas with family. First thing he said was that he missed me. Then he said, "And, I really mean that." I told him I missed him, too. I asked him how his Christmas was. He replied, "Very lonely". He proceeded to tell me all the things he missed about not seeing me, i.e. the snuggling, sharing meals, sitting in front of the fireplace, having a glass of wine together. (The last time we were together, I took great pains to create a romantic atmosphere. Bought some firewood, a nice bottle of red wine, lit some candles. I made sure that was his most recent memory of me.) He wanted to know if I got his Christmas cards. I said, "Yes", and thanked him. At one point, he asked me if I would relocate with him to another state in the spring. This really surprised me, & I was caught off guard. I replied, "Sure, as soon as we can find jobs." I probably should have said, "Let's talk about it some more." Anyway, I did not come across as 'gushing', but responded in kind when he told me he misses me, and loves me. I asked him if he felt that moving out has helped him. He replied, "No". Then, "I guess it's helped me with the maturation process". He never as much as mentioned OW, and I didn't ask. After around 30 minutes, he said goodbye with an "I love you". He still has five months to go on his lease. So, no telling how many more twists and turns are up ahead. But, he definitely didn't sound very happy.

sidney,<P>I would give an apendage for a phone call like that.<P>He is starting to miss the needs you meet, whether the OW is still involved or not. Shows thst she can not meet all his needs. GREAT!!!!!! <P>Keep the faith as this is VERY positive!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Thanks so much, Desiree. I'm not getting my hopes up as they have been dashed too many times already. I really think he still has a long way to go. It is encouraging to hear something positive. But then again, actions speak louder than words. And, so far, there have been no positive actions. So, I have to take this with a grain of salt. I think he was a little panicked because, although I told him several times that I was returning on the 28th, he seemed to think I would be back on the 26th. He called my work place several times and they told him I wasn't there. So, he was not so sure that I even came back. I wish now that I wasn't so quick to tell him that I would move with him. He may have just been 'testing the waters'. This "narrow path" sure is treacherous!!

I would give anything for a call like that....good for you...I hope it all works out for you and your H...<P>amanda<P>------------------<BR>I will love my husband "Always & Forever" <BR>thevancefamily@hotmail.com<P><BR>

sidney,<BR>I am happy for you. I, too, would give a couple of appendages for a call like that. So far the best I have had to be satisfied with my H actually saying good-bye when he took the kids to dinner two weeks in a row - I guess saying goodbye to me when he leaves after dropping them off would be too much to hope for.

sidney, dear, <P>glad to hear your progress!<P>please keep being realistic, not looking at the whole picture is why I was so devastated that h. was contacting her again. try to avoid what i call "magical thinking" i believe many of us raised on Disney movies really believe in fairy tales, which leads to our undoing. it sounds like you were fine, even saying ok to relocating, i mean, he knows you aren't hanging on his ankles, right? <P>that is the position I told our counselor (in front of h.) that I refuse to take anymore. tell yourself (and believe) I WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. it is sort of scarlett o'hara, but it has kept me sane. i think it is the essence of James Dobson's book "Love Must Be Tough", which, if you haven't read yet, is my favorite 'must read' in our situation.<P>gotta go,<P>liz

Sidney,, this is really great to hear.. It is progress.. It sounds just like my h when he was moved out.. Just remember that it will still be up and down for you.. The key is not to lovebust during the downs... I slipped a couple of times.. It sounds real good though!!!!!!!

sidney,<P>I sent you an e-mail tonight. Also, have you heard anything from Diana? I think she was supposed to get home tonight and I am worried to death about how her meeting with her H went!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Amanda- Thanks for the kind words. Hang in there and be patient because we never know what is just around the next bend.<P>Nellie- I just hope that the little positives I might be seeing will be enough to fuel YOUR hopes. All we all can do right now, is be patient, concentrate on making ourselves better people, and pray.<P>Liz- You are absolutely right. Although I do get my hopes up when he contacts me, I always try to temper it by looking at the big picture. Nothing in our situation has changed, so no progress is being made. I have to remain realistic. The one thing I have already discovered throughout this whole ordeal is that I CAN be happy without him. I do miss companionship, but, I am not going to settle for anything less than a happy, fulfilling marriage. His taker still seems to be in charge. Our conversations seem to center around his ME's and I's, although he does seem to be coming around a bit, & acknowledging my needs. I'm not out for revenge, but he is going to have to win me back.<P>Mickey- Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, it does seem to be progress, but you're right there is still a very long road ahead.<P>Desiree- You've probably already read my Email by now. I did get one from Diana this morning. I would imagine you did, too.