I posted this on General Questions but thought I may get a better response here. My H did not leave his addx/phone when he left his message, just called to yell and threaten me. Here is a link to my plan B letter:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009475.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009475.html</A> <BR>(I modified it per my 2nd post in that thread).<P>I had a feeling this would happen. My H read my plan B letter and got really mad. I had asked him to call my work and leave a voicemail with his addx/phone #.<BR>He took the letter to mean I was trying to manipulate him (please read my letter from a couple of days ago to sanity check me). He said he wasn't playing my games that I was telling everyone he was crazy and a horrible parent and he was going to get a lawyer and tell him about how horrible a parent I am and that I better settle things now before it's too late. <P>He says I am purposely not letting him see the kids and the only way he can do it is if he comes back home (that's what he took the plan B letter to mean).<P>In my letter I said he needed to contact his parents for visitation and it needed to be supervised until we were both sure the kids were safe to be with him. I don't think that's keeping him from the kids. I even had his parents call him yesterday to tell him they had the kids Sunday if he wanted to come down and see them. He said he was working and would be too busy.<P>When he talked to his parents he told them he was going to get help for his anger and that he thinks he might have a disorder and is going to get tested.<P>I'm so upset. He took my letter completely out of context and now that we have no contact I can't explain myself to him and make him realize I did this for me to help get over him and I'm not trying to manipulate him. He is just building up resentment and hatred in his head, blaming it all on me and putting me to blame.<P>And, amazingly I'm not even mad. I just feel so sorry for him.<P>I mean, what am I supposed to do?? Just go along with whatever he wants and do nothing to regain my sanity? I think I am handling it pretty well. Do you know how bad I could screw him if I wanted? But am I, no! Because I still care and want him back, and that would just be wrong. I just have to put my life back together incase he truly is gone for good. Why does that make me so bad? What am I supposed to do??? Let him walk all over me?<P>Anybody else's WS do this, or am I pretty much screwed now?<BR>

It's clear why you're upset. Don't we all want to fix all thee problems right away. I think, though, that what you relate in your message leaves room for a lot of hope: he's admitted he's got a problem with anger, and he's willing to do something about it. The fact that he's admitted that suggests that you got through to him a bit. <P>If I were you, I'd just stay with that for a while. Let him cool off. Not try to contact him. Not try to explain myself to him -- you've already done that, very eloquently. If he misunderstands, it's because he's chosen to misunderstand. You have acted with love and in the best interests of your relationship -- if he's the person you think he is, he'll come to realize that when his anger burns off. That's what I'd hold on to right now, if I were in your situation. <P>Good luck.