My wife began an affair about 6 months ago. We have 2 young children that love us both very much. We have had problems over the years, but especially the past 2 years. We have had many good time too, but she seems to be focused on issues that that go back as far as 15 years. She has had clinical depression for a number of years and experienced a manic episode last year. The situation was handled as well as possible at the time, but it left her with very resentful feelings. Also, I have now come to understand through therapy that I have diplayed controlling behavior over the years, but am making steady progress in changing. She has even commented on my improvement.<P>She agreed to stop seeing her lover, and even sent him a letter asking him not to contact her any more. She insisted that we separate, which we did, so she could "heal" in order to rebuild our marriage. She promised me that this was only temporary. I just found out she is still seeing him and she says she has tried to stop, but has been unable.<P>I have follwed plan A very closely but it has made little difference. I believe she has become addicted to her lover. No matter how well I behave or how much I try to meet her needs, she remains unresponsive and resentful.<P>I still love her and told her so. I have said I want to rebuild our marriage. She displays remorse, but says she has to work it out herself. She is having some of her needs met by me (financial and family) and her other emotional needs met through her affair. <P>I feel I am ready to begin plan B at this time. I let her know that I want to work on our marriage together so we can both be happy, that I want to help her through this, but that I could not enable this behavior to continue indefinitey. We are even still in marraige counseling! <P>To make matters worse, I am now unemployed and we are running out of money. We also have much debt, and could potentially lose our home. She has agreed to relocate If my job search requires, but I'm concerned that she may change her mind. I told her I could not leave my family behind.<P>I'm concerned that she will view it as controlling behavior on my part, but I am leaning toward beginning plan B now as it seems nothing else I have tried works.<P>Please help! What should I do?<P>Never say die!
