My husband and I have been married for 10 years. In May he went to his high school reunion, hooked with an old flame and had an affair. When he came back home he said he wanted to leave me. Now he is gone. He packed up "his" things in a Ryder truck and moved 1500 miles away to be woth her. In the time since he has been gone I have gotten many mixed signals. He says he still cares about me and he has been willing to help me out. He cancelled his change of address so I wouldn't have to change all the utilities(they were in his name). He also paid some of the bills and has said that he will gladly pay any charges he made to our credit card for the move. He has been gone two weeks. At first he said nothing about divorce. Then when he did mention it he asked if I wanted to file(I don't) or if he should. So I called him on the phone. (I know, probably a mistake for plan B). He agreed to wait before filling. Neither one of us mentioned a time frame. I am trying not to give up hope because of many other mixed signals (too numerous to mention here). I don't believe he knows what he wants. He has even told me so many times. So it would seem that plan B has begun. I need strenth. I am alone. Am seeing a counselor. Am talking alot on the phone to friends. Do not have family support. Please be brutaly honest, is there any hope?

You can have some hope, especially since he is contacting you and seeming to want your agreement on when to file. If he were all that sure about things he would take swift action. It seems though that you should not count on him and pick up yuour life as much as possible. I waited a year before plan Bing and now I have him calling and asking to have dinner but I won't while the afffair is ongoing. I can really empathize with where you are.

It's late and i need to go back to sleep but I wanted to drop you a quick line...<P>Please read all of the information on this website. Look at the material on Plan A and Plan B. Then read the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. Your marriage is not necessarily over. The material suggested will give you a road map as to saving your marriage if it is at all prossible.<P>Many wayward spouces (WS) return to their marriage after their affair has seen the light of day. <P>Good Luck<P>Z<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by peepers:<BR><B>You can have some hope, especially since he is contacting you and seeming to want your agreement on when to file. If he were all that sure about things he would take swift action. It seems though that you should not count on him and pick up yuour life as much as possible. I waited a year before plan Bing and now I have him calling and asking to have dinner but I won't while the afffair is ongoing. I can really empathize with where you are.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Thank you to the two people who responded to my post. It helps to know I'm not alone. What I would like to know is, can Love Bank deposits be made during plan B? For example, his birthday is in October, would it be permissible to send him a birthday card? He has said he wants to stay in touch and be friends. Should I do that?