First, thanks to all here who have been supportive in the past (mostly on the GQII board) - and to those who have made their B letters available here to assist those of us stepping onto this treacherous path. I am grateful to you all!<P>Here's my Plan B letter - I plan on giving it to my WS Tuesday. We were planning on taking out two hour drive to see out marriage counselor that day, but now I don't think so....<BR>------------------------<P>Dearest <WS>,<P>Over the past many months, I have written several letters to you - but this one is the hardest letter to write. It is with shaking hands and a heavy heart that I sit here after spending Father’s Day together as a family, attempting to put onto paper my thoughts and feelings. Much has happened between us and I’ve always held out hope that we would be a family again. However, I now realize that the path I must take is not one of choice - but of self-preservation.<P>First, I want to again tell you how sorry I am for my contribution to the destruction of our marriage. My selfishness and disregard for your needs helped create a void between us, making your affair with <OM> possible. I was not a loving and attentive husband - I cared more for my interests and needs then yours, or our childrens. Despite your reaching out to me so many times before, I turned a deaf ear. I accept that I have hurt you deeply and repeatedly in the past and I wish somehow my apologies would be enough. However, I realize that nothing can be done about the past and it still saddens me even now that I could be responsible for causing someone I love so dearly so much pain. I didn’t realize how important your needs and interests were, how much I neglected our children, and how much love I stole from you with giving very little in return. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you - I was wrong, very wrong.<P>At first, I did not understand what it took to have a successful and fulfilling marriage - how to nurture our relationship and meet your needs. As you know, I have worked hard these past many months expanding my knowledge of relationships and although I cannot sit here and say I know all I need to know, I can honestly say I have learned alot about compassion, honesty, caring, and cherishing. I strive to learn even more about how to be a supportive and loving man - the type of man I hope you would be proud to call your husband - the same pride I’ve felt so many times when I called you my wife.<P>Since October, I’ve been trying to give you hope for our marriage by learning how to be a better husband to you and father to our children. I’ve wanted to give you hope that you could return to a marriage you wanted, for us to build a family together. However, the past several months have been the most difficult time in my life. The pain and emptiness I have felt almost daily have been almost too much to endure. By the grace of God and my memories of the love we once shared, I was given strength. Remembering the good times we’ve shared, the happiness we’ve had with our children, and all those extraordinary qualities that you possess that led me to ask you to marry me so long ago have given me hope that someday we’ll be happy again. Unfortunately, I now find that those thoughts and feelings are slowly eroding away and before I lose what’s left completely, I must take drastic steps.<P><WS>, as you know, I am still willing to do whatever it takes to correct the mistakes that we have made in the past and make our marriage together stronger and closer than we ever thought possible. My hope was renewed last month when you asked to put our divorce on hold and give us another chance. With all my heart, I would like to build a new marriage with you - one in which we both feel loved, safe, supported, and cherished.<P>But, I cannot do this while your relationship with Bruce continues. I have waited patiently, trusting your declarations that the affair was over - and this has been very difficult. As your affair with <OM> continues, it has become too painful for me to endure. We can only rebuild our marriage, our family, our love for each together when you completely end your relationship with <OM>.<P>Until you are able to do so, I feel I must now break off all contact with you. I will avoid seeing you and talking to you. To this end, it is best that you find another place to stay - I will take a leave of absence and stay in our house and be the primary care provider for our children. Since I do not wish for your bond with our children to suffer, I will be as flexible as possible with visitation of the children. However, I must ask that you not have any contact with me during those times of pickup and drop-off. I would also like any regular communications between us be handled thru a mutual friend of your choice. If you have any emergency matters, you can always call or e-mail me at any time.<P>I hope that you understand that I am not doing this to hurt you or punish you but to protect my feelings for you and any chance of reconciliation in the future. I ask that you respect my decision to separate in this way. You must know the pain and suffering I have endured because of your relationship with <OM>. I simply cannot be in contact with you any longer, knowing that you and he are together, I feel my love for you is slipping away and in order to protect my feelings for you I can no longer see you under the current conditions.<P>I know I have hurt you in the past and never want to make you feel that way again. I want us to build a life together where we both can be at peace, feel loved, trusting and open, and pursue our interests together and as individuals. I want to share in your success of your music and business. I want us to be an inspiration to our children about the power of love and God’s perfect will. I want to grow old with you so that we can together care for <children names> difficult needs. I want us to experience our grandchildren as one and live out the life we imagined for ourselves that hot August day we said “I do!”. We both have realized that we married the right person, that we joined together for the right reasons - let us not come apart for the wrong reasons.<P>I loved you so early on after we first met and that love has grown thru the good times, as well as the bad. I love you more today then when we first married. I remain dedicated to making our marriage a place you really want to be - I just cannot be with you or help you while you are still involved with <OM>.<P>With all my love and peace -

Excellent...<P>You taken a lot of <B>good</B> stuff from others...<BR>...and personalized it.<P> <P>Jim

spirit,<P>Really good! At first, I was wondering why you were going to plan B, it sounded like you were doing very well with Plan A. But 10 months is a very long time to know someone else is receiving the love and affection you should be.<P>Our time frames are pretty similar, D-day for me was September and I went to plan B at the beginning of this month.<P>Father's Day about killed me too.<P>God bless and give you peace.<P>Ish

How is it going now?