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Joined: Jun 2001
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I'm a few weeks into Plan A. I'm feeling like a doormat like Harley said I would if I were doing it correctly. I've been giving my W more attention than I use to before the A. It is probably more like the level that I gave in our early years. I'm opening her car door, kissing her when I get home and before I go to sleep, holding her hand when she lets me get close enough, and leaving a little note a once or twice a week (along with some Hershey's Hugs & Kisses ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) ). Now my W says I'm overdoing it and she is feeling pressured and I'm making her feel guilty. Is this a normal reaction by a WS at this point? Should I keep it up at this level? ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/confused.gif) <BR>SG
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Sprayer,<P>I'd swear I wrote your post. I had the IDENTICAL problem. I'm doing the same, opening doors, kisses, hand holding the whole thing. What makes is even more rewarding is that she is recipricating.<P>I'd suggest back off a bit, but don't stop. Try and get a little creative.<P>Good Luck<P>------------------<BR>...Keeping a stiff upper lip<BR>-Scarlet Pumpernickle<BR>s_pumpernickle@yahoo.com
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Joined: Jun 2001
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SP:<P>How can I get creative without it looking like I'm overwhelming her? Any creative suggestions would be appreciated.<BR>SG
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Exactly, I mean EXACTLY the same here!!!<BR>I would try to call her during work (which she admitted as one of the way to fullfill her EN for affection), she would not let me talk to her for more than one minute!!!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) Instead she told me to focus on my work rather than "wasting time" on her ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/rolleyes.gif) <BR>But I haven't give up...<BR>Two Weeks Into Plan A...
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Sprayer,<P>I had a very similar experience in the beginning. W (WS) would say: "I know why you are doing it, and this takes all the pleasure out of it." <P>Just stick to it, tone down a little bit, maybe. For me it got better (W reacting positively to plan A) about 4 months into plan A. <P>blueice
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Joined: Jun 2001
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>SprayerGuy asked:<BR><B>SP:<P>How can I get creative without it looking like I'm overwhelming her? Any creative suggestions would be appreciated.<BR>SG</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Try something which will not require an immediate reaction from her. Don't try exotic or over the top things in the beginning, there will time for these later in plan A.<BR>What I mean is something like flowers. You may even want to start by not directly giving them to her, but just putting them somewhere she can see and enjoy them.<P>blueice <BR>
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Wow, I feel like you guys have been describing, in detail, the past two weeks of my life! I don't know what to say! I am bookmarking this post, though! Let's keep each other posted on how the W responds to your doormat affections.<P>I've left several notes that she still hasn't found, I am getting nervous now and thinking about taking them back after hearing how SG's W reacted!
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Spooky, you guys wrote this post weeks ago and this describes exactly what I'm going through.<P>Plan A does seem to be working though - she's told me that I'm too intense but I've not backed off. And, last night we had one of the nicest evenings together we've had in a long time. She even reciprocated with a hug. At lunchtime today, she kissed me - passionately !!!!!!<P>Can't get too hopeful tho - that'd be dangerous.<P>
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Joined: Sep 2000
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SG - whether it's guilt or not, it's becoming uncomfortable for her, so back off some.<P>Likely she's just feeling smothered because you may be over doing it. There's nothing wrong with being mysterious at times, also.<P>Remember this, you can't out romance a romantic. If she's reciprocating some, terrific! If she cools off, take that as a hint to cool off as well.<P>WAT<p>[This message has been edited by worthatry (edited July 19, 2001).]
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