Hello everyone out there, this is my first time writing to this post. Like many of you, the reason for my posting, is basically the same, I been cheated and betrayed by my spouse.<P>I'm hoping and praying that you can shed a light and give me an idea on what to do. I've been married to my husband for the last 14 years. This is our first marriage and we were married very young. We were always very much in love. We have two beautiful children. In December, 1999 I started to notice that my husband kept 'mysteriously' dissapering for an hour or two without me being able to reach him. Every time I called his cell phone, it was off. I felt that he was neglecting me and putting me aside. If I wanted to make love, he was always tired and when I asked him if he still loved me, he would give me the 'you know I do' if I didn't I wouldn't be with you.<P>We started to drift apart more and more. I tried to be nice to him all the time and we planned a vacation to Europe in order to get connection back into our marriage. A few months later, he told me that he didn't know if he loved me anymore and that people change throughout the years. I ask him if he was seeing someone else, he just said that he did not want to talk about it. I figured he did but he asked me to give him time and see if his feelings would change towards me. Anyhow, in October last year he said he was going away for a trip with some 'friends' but couldn't tell me where he was going to stay that he would call me when he gets there. I said I don't believe a married man should go alone w/friends without his wife and that I was going to leave if he goes. He left anyway and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told him that I would give our relationship another try and he said 'it sounds good'. For the last 7 months, everything seemed to be 'okay', apparently. Our sex life was better, he was a little more affectionate, he was home most of the time but whenever he would go out, he would not say where he was going but I would say to myself 'ok, a man needs his privacy'. Two weeks ago he tells me that he is going away again alone and the same story repeats itself. He can not give me any details where he'll be staying because he needs time to be alone. I was devastated, I couldn't believe he was still seeing someone else. When he left, I checked his cell phone bills, indeed he showed calls made to the same # numerous times a day, every day. I found out where he was and when I called the hotel, the receptionist said that 'they want their calls screened'. I could not believe he was doing this to me. During all this time he deceived me into believing that everything was fine. I felt I was going to die, I couldn't eat for days and I was so depressed that I couldn't get up from bed. When he came back I confronted him and told him that I already knew that he did not go alone and that he still was seeing that other person. He has not confessed anything but he said that he's sorry that he does not want to separate. I told him he needs to end w/that relationship or he's out. I also told him that I can not be with him sexually for a while bks I feel too much hurt. He says he understands. I don't know whether he'll really end his affair because the last time he went away, he led me into believing that he had. I don't know which plan to put into action, please help me. <P>I asked him to cancel his cell and to stop every contact. He just said, he knows what he needs to do. I don't know if I should believe him and give him another chance. I desperately need help.
