This Post is also on the general questions II messageboard.<P>If you are not aware My W is waffling and is very confused, dumped OM and the fog seems to be lifting. She say’s her main issue is with regard to the kids. I need help with Plan A is doing my do’s. She is very intelligent and sees right through the Bull Sh*# of the light and fluffy stuff. She is still in withdraw but takes a step to me and that one back or two to me and three back. <BR>So I want to do and say thoughtful things. I want to do thoughtful gestures that make her feel safe, so she does not go back to OM and chooses me instead. This is my plan A do’s list:<P>Treat her like a queen Remember the rule of protection<BR>Make her feel safe Keep it light & fluffy<BR>Do what I say Be thoughtful <BR>Be Honest<BR>Be nice and sweet<BR>Be concerned<BR>Make joint decisions-teamwork<BR>Be caring about her and the kids<BR>Believe in her<BR>Listen<BR>Be a friend<BR>Ask thoughtful questions about her life<P>I need your help and ideas on ways to show these things, I have send her 2 cards in the last 2 weeks (per Steve) and the first one got a great response, have not heard about the second (Should have received it yesterday). Other stuff, not expensive, no flowers. Things to say, conversations to have (not about the future).<P>JK<BR>

My H and I both lost weight going through the first 6 months after DDay, and it was a great thing to do as we needed to loose some weight anyway. We were able to get each other clothes to show how much we appreciated the new look, not to mention the love of attention that I felt having him take me to Victoria's secret (for real clothes) and looking online at the newest Speigel outfits he thought I would look good in. I surprised him with packages of clothes (giftwrapped as ##days anniversary) when he came home from work. I suggest lots of gifts, even smarties (my favorite candy) and a hershey kiss. We also got each other "bat phones" so we could call and get an answer at a moment's notice, and we send thoughtful emails, sometimes hourly. It all matters, it is the thought that you are thinking of each other. You may have to start it yourself ... do it without expecting ANYTHING in return ... do it for the other person, and feel it for yourself ... oopps..gotta go write my honey a quick message.