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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 724
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 724 |
New here. Been reading for about a month. My story: married 16 years (as of 6/17/01). H left in March. I found out about OW in April. Since then, H has gone from wanting to work on things (went to 2 counseling sessions together) to divorcing, to asking me to let him spend time with me while he decides. I can't do that anymore, so have written plan B letter. Will give it to H on Sunday after we get back from a family reunion. I don't want to spoil it for our kids (twin girls 15, son 17). My question is this: did I read somewhere on here that we should send a copy of the plan B letter to OW? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631 |
It isn’t up to your H to Plan A, it’s up to you.<P>There IS no Plan B without a good, solid foundation of several months of good Plan A efforts. All you’ll be doing at this point is separating, not MarriageBuilding.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 724
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 724 |
Ooops, I forgot to say, I have been plan A'ing all along (after the initial first day of shock of course). I think H is very confused by it and has come around some, but I am incapable of continuing it because I am beginning to HATE him everytime he leaves the house. It's either plan B or kill him right now.
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631 |
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> It's either plan B or kill him right now. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ah... OK. That’s a pretty good indicator that it’s time to go to Plan B, all right. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> My question is this: did I read somewhere on here that we should send a copy of the plan B letter to OW? Any help would be greatly appreciated.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I guess the reasoning behind this is that the WS lies as much to the OP about their intentions as they are lying to you... so bursting that particular bubble might spell a little trouble in paradise just as you are cutting yourself off from them in order to preserve your remaining love via Plan B.<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
Do check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000177.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000413.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 201</A>.<P>After a review of where you stand....<BR>...start a draft of you Plan B letter.<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1 |
Myowne:<BR>I have been through 5 months of plan A and found out my wife is still having her affairs. Although initially devestated when I FIRST learned of the affair,I am going into Plan B now confident I have tried my best. Give plan A a chance. Even if it doesn't sawy your H, it gives you better feel for yourself to deal with the separation of plan B.<P>Webfeet
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 882
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 882 |
I think if you have Plan A'd for several months, and this is the reaction you are getting, and in your gut and your heart, you are ready for Plan B, go for it and don't look back! Short, simple and to the point....as Nike says...do it now!<P>Trueheart
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