What do you do when you are not just competing against the OW but also against your mother-in-law. I just found out, accidentally, that she has been encouraging him in this affair. She sent an e-mail to me which was meant for him. I always knew there was some tension between us but I never realized how much. She referred to the 4th as his independence day. She said she regrets the time H served as my companion and that he is finally being exposed to all the things he has been searching for these many years. Needless to say I have a few words for her. But I don't know if she has even realized her e-mail mistake. I'm going to wait and see what unfolds. Any advise?

girlscout,<P>It is often best to hold what you know of your enemy very close. My ex-mother-in-law (XMIL) did similar things to me. She even told me that my XH had the right to have affairs and that I need to just shut my mouth about it. <P><BR>I assume that your husband is in the middle of an affair. His mother is cheering him on. The fog will make him see her as an alley right now. If you say anything to her, they will both see it as you attacking her. She is being very evil and bold in sending her son such emails. She is a force to contend with. <P>You now know where she is coming from. If you keep quiet about this then she will not suspect that you know. When the time comes that your husband is back with you, then give him a copy of the email and tell him that you need an apology from him and her both. But let him handle his mother. He may one day have to choose between you and his mother. He is supposed to choose you, so she has a lot to lose.<P>In the mean time, you know who your enemy is now. Stay away from her. Be ever so polite and demure. But stay away from her.<P>Z<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by girlscout:<BR><B>What do you do when you are not just competing against the OW but also against your mother-in-law. I just found out, accidentally, that she has been encouraging him in this affair. She sent an e-mail to me which was meant for him. I always knew there was some tension between us but I never realized how much. She referred to the 4th as his independence day. She said she regrets the time H served as my companion and that he is finally being exposed to all the things he has been searching for these many years. Needless to say I have a few words for her. But I don't know if she has even realized her e-mail mistake. I'm going to wait and see what unfolds. Any advise?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My Adivse right now to you is to read The whole chapter of Ruth. <P>Then write me back and will discuss your mother in law<P>

That's an interesting suggestion about reading the Book of Ruth. We've been studying Ruth Tues-Thurs this week at our church's "family Bible camp" in the evenings. I can't see right now how it applies, because Naomi was a different kind of MIL and was apparently not a problem for Ruth. But I will try and bring this up tonight in the group.<P>- Tom

I can definately relate. I found out that a few weeks ago my W had told her mother about her affair and her mother was very encouraging about her leaving me for the OM. But since then my wife has been staying home (I hope). She says she does not see the OM but it is hard to trust after all of this<BR><P>------------------<BR>So confused and yet so understanding