I have been married to the same man for 32 yrs and he has been having A's for the past 29 off and on. I sat Plan A into action and he now calls several times a day. This has got to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, I need support to keep the LB from destroying everthing. We both are in seperate counseling. This was the first time that I actually had seperation agreement drawn up but after reading SSA, I'm willing to give our marriage one more chance. It has helped me more than all the marriage counselors that we or I have ever been to. They all suggested (even his) that I leave. Hard, because I stil love him and know this goes deeper than just for the excitment, but I need your help to stay with it...........<P>------------------<BR>

You CAN do it and it will be worth the pain in the long run. It's very hard and lonely at times, but trust your strength and courage. And trust God, he truly does answer prayers!

Hi Rainbue,<P>You still feel love for your H. Have you tried the phone counseling sessions with Steve or Jennifer? How about the emotional needs questionnaire? You did not mention if your H's As were with the same person or different ones. <P>Is he with you now and trying to work on making things better? Have you read his needs/her needs? Another good book is by Dr. James Dobson "Love must be tough". <P>Sorry for the barage of questions. Sometimes it helps to know a bit more of the background. My H had several one night types and the a major EA/PA. He also has anger problems and several childhood and adult abandonments in his life prior to our marriage. No excuses but reasons are definately out there. <P>Keep posting, reading and researching here. There is a lot to learn from. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Orchid:<BR><B>Hi Rainbue,<P>You still feel love for your H. Have you tried the phone counseling sessions with Steve or Jennifer? How about the emotional needs questionnaire? You did not mention if your H's As were with the same person or different ones. <P>Is he with you now and trying to work on making things better? Have you read his needs/her needs? Another good book is by Dr. James Dobson "Love must be tough". <P>Sorry for the barage of questions. Sometimes it helps to know a bit more of the background. My H had several one night types and the a major EA/PA. He also has anger problems and several childhood and adult abandonments in his life prior to our marriage. No excuses but reasons are definately out there. <P>Keep posting, reading and researching here. There is a lot to learn from. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Orchid,<BR>I've read Dr. Dobson's book several years ago, thanks I'll take it off the shelf again . My H is still with me in a sense. I need to explain. He works in another town that is 104 miles away during the week and comes home on week-ends. We have had this type of living arrangement for 12 years.I never moved because at the time we had several mortages and a children still in school. We knew that our lifestyle was hard on the children and I couldn't put them through any more. Our youngest even caught her father in an A two years ago. Since Plan A he will only come around if I give him permission. we no longer have children at home. His known A's have been with different W. ENQ is the reason I've ask him to come this week-end. I gave it to him 2w's ago. We are both in counseling (seperate therapist) at this time. He also came from a home where love was shown with a gift rather than a hug or a at-a-boy and rarely verbalized, actually I never heard his father do anything except critize him and he is an over achiver and very successful. Sorry for the lenght but you asked. Thanks for the suggestions, all advice appreciated.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by maggierose:<BR><B>You CAN do it and it will be worth the pain in the long run. It's very hard and lonely at times, but trust your strength and courage. And trust God, he truly does answer prayers!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Maggierose,<BR>Thanks for the support. God is the only reason I keep hangin-on. He has seen me through so really rough times with H through the years trying to raise 2 children with H gone all the time. I really think that since the last one married this spring, God gave me the courage to attempt to honestly work on my marriage. Children pressuring me to end it. I do understand they only want me to see some happiness.