How do you manage the depression of Plan A? I'm trying to be patient, but my W is away because she's travelling for work (with OM) and I can't think of anything else. <P>Steve says to wait a couple of days in between calls. The wait and depression is eating away. What does everyone do? I have medication but have only taken for four days. <P>

mikenu - First, you have my sympathy and understanding. For me, this was the hardest and worst thing I had been through, and I've been through some intersting times!<BR> I think a critical part of plan A is to focus on you. I had a very difficult time with this, I still do. But I think it serves several important needs that need o be addressed.<BR> Manage the bad times by doing something that makes you feel good about you. This will also serve to redirect your attention from your marriage for a while; you could probably use a break anyway.<BR> I think if you pursue with too much energy it chases them away; it puts you in a bad light ( ie. needy). Have you read "Torn Asunder" by Dave Carder? It's a great book on affairs. One of the things that drove me nuts ( and still does ) was trying to understand how this terrible thing could have happened and why. There are many sources of info available. Remember, you cannot prevent her from doing this!<BR>That really stinks! Work with what you can do, and do it to the best of your ability.<BR> I also pray often, it helps ALOT.<P>Dan<P>By the way, I went through a very similiar "traveling thing" with my wife; it's really dificult. You WILL get through this!

Thanks D,<P>Your support helps. I'm definatly standing my ground on the chase thing. Steve helped me with my Plan A in making her think I'm doing great. I'm just supposed to call every other day or so and tell her that I care. In fact, one of her old friends called the house today and asked for my wife's mobile number. When she asked how I was doing I was sure to say I was well and I was just about to go for a jog. I figure this is a good way to show her that she has a stong man back home.<P>She will figure out my depression when she sees that I've lost about 20 pounds (225 to 203 in about 3 weeks and I'm 6-2). <P>Did your situation work out? Did you ever think that it was completely helpless sometimes? <P>Thanks again,<BR>Mikenu