Briefly, I am the WS, I also had MM child. H and I made a commitment to work things out, but it seems it is failing, H seems to in a fog about us. Can this work if WS is doing?

My Blessing:<P>Plan A "rolls" into recovery when the affair is ended and the spouses are back together. So yes, you should be doing your best to Plan A right now. In general, Plan A is for the "more in love" spouse to help the "less in love" spouse back to a state of intimacy.<P>Plan B would be very dicey in your situation, from the little I know. Your husband is in "a fog"---probably due to the pain of the affair and the fact that you've had another man's baby. That's a pretty large scale trauma to get over---and I speak from this first-hand. Plan B is basically giving him a letter telling him "I cannot have contact with you now"---but there must be a reason behind that. He must be either having an affair, lovebusting day and night, or completely ignoring your needs (and doing it for a very long time). Even if one of these is true, how do you think he'll react to a separation? Unless you've done a terrific plan A, he's likely to feel that he's better off without you.<P>So, without any additional input on your situation, I'd say you should be doing a terrific, consistant Plan A. The counseling center at MarriageBuilder's might help you---Steve and Jenn Harley are terrific, and they're only a phone call away (888-639-1639 for appointments).