My wife agreed to see the same counsler last nite for the same time (reluctantly). When we got there she stated she did want to be there. I explained that she seems to be dragging me along all this time. She remains in the other bedroom and still has not shown any effort that she cares for me (FOG ?). Well, the counsler then let into her and said she was manipulating me and was being belligerent. The counler said to me that she did not undertstand how long I have put up with the way I have been treated( betrayed twice).<BR>This really surprised me. The counsler was so negative to her. This has not happened before. I am so tired of my wife saying that she is in love with this other guy but does not want to leave me and the kids. How long do you put up this?<BR>I have not spoken to my wife since this meeting last nite.I will be interested as to how she is going to react. I am glad in a way that someone laid into her for once because I have never have seemed to be able to do this. I have been trying to Plan A for so long but I feel that I am being dragged along with minimal effort on her part. She feels that she is trying. I don`t know if this is just her being in the fog or what. How long do I put up with this? She seems more withdrawn lately and I actually believe for once that she has had no contact. I am unsure as to how long this will last. I fear after last nite she is going to feel so bad she will call him.<BR>I am ever so hopeful that what happened last nite with counsler may knock some sense into her so that she can see she will loose an awful lot if we divorce. I am just so unsure if this will happen. How long do you wait out something like this ?

I wish I knew how long one sticks in. I have the same question. I wish someone would knock sense into my husband also. I think one just goes on a day-by-day basis. On the other hand, I also think that one shouldn't let anyone walk all over you.<P>One thing I do suggest is that you start talking (nicely) to your wife as soon as possible. Silence may drive her to talk to OM or worse a new man. I think a lot of women get used to turning to men for emotional support and sympathy. I know I did. And to have the sense not to do this with some man other than one's husband may take a while to develop.<P>You may also want to consider telling her why you have put up with her behavior so far. Like you have faith in your marriage, you love (something specific) about her.<P>Good luck, Scot<P>annie