I have posted some on Div/Div and Just Found Out. I need some major guidance on Plan A. There is not an A involved in my situation, it is 'the love is gone' on part of W. She in the house with the kids, me in apartment close by, going into week 3.<P>My question is how do you Plan A when not in the same house? Moving back in simply is not an option now, and if I forced my way back in, she would leave and that would be it.<P>So old pros, what can I do?

I'm sure you'll get some other ideas as well, but my H moved out a month ago, and I am still Plan A'ing. You have to know what your W's EN's are, and LB's are - they could be different than my situation. My H doesn't like to talk much on the phone, and usually won't reply to my e-mails either. I send him GOod Morning and Good Night text msgs on his cell phone. I send a funny e-card to him about every 10 days. He always picks them up, and thanks me sometimes. I don't even have his address or I would send regular cards. I forward some of the regular jokes and stuff that go around on e-mail. Whenever we talk, I put on my best Plan A'ttitude - sweet, admiring (his #1 need), pleasant, upbeat - and no LB's (nagging, judging, talking about serious stuff - his OW, "us", etc.). THose are basically what I'm doing. I only tell him I love him about every 2 weeks - trying to give him space.

Thanks Faith. I understand the space part-hard to know how much is to much or too little. But, I am trying to be upbeat, pleasant, a good listener etc. when I have the chance. My instinct is that I need to give things some time, and she needs some space ritht now. We did have a very good talk on the phone last night for over an hour, which I thought was a good sign. Neither one of LB'd, and we did get into a few heavy things. At the end she said that i sounded different, sounded good.<P>We'll see. My mantra is one day at a time.

ANB3,<P>I am not on expert on this at all but if you have the time and want to learn from somebody who is try and do a search on the username "Lostva" she is and always will be the queen of Plan A in my books. Sure she made some mistakes (don't we all), but she executed an almost flawless Plan A for seven months while her H was living with the OW.<BR>A lot of her earlier posts are in the Read Only section. If you go there to search you won't see any posts at all first. <BR>Just hit the search button at the top of the page and type her name in the space.<BR>She kept me and a lot of others on the right path.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

ANB3,<BR>I understand your frsutration with wanting some clear answers. (I saw your other question on GQII - it is locked up right now)<P>Patient Love gives very good advice. I am going to go and do what she suggests about Lostva. Perhaps you should too. <P>Also, when you can get back into GQII, look for the Well it's over thread by sad_but_true. Towards the end is a great post by dlm with some Plan A suggestions.<P>Hang in there!<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

ANB3,<BR>I guess theres alot of us in the same boat here, one area of help that has not being mentioned is here on the MB site. In the articles or Q & A section of the main site is a couple of letters, which were received, and they have a reply from the harleys as to the best way forward. <P>They are entitled "Can one spouse save a marriage", and there's more than one, from memory the first does not get a reply, but the second or third one does.<P>Hope this helps<P>mands