When I discovered my wife's affairs for certain at the end of January, there were two at once. I think she is in a mode of serial affairs now, although I have not tried to "prove it" definitively. <P>Me and our three kids were at a church function tonight, and my oldest (10) was telling the pastor's wife about going to the drive-in and how one of my wife's friends, a nice man, bought them some really good snacks. This would have been two Fridays ago when I was out of town; I remember giving my wife directions to the drive-in over the phone. She told me they were going with one of her girlfriends (partner in cheating), who also has a 10 year old boy. If the Dad had gone along too, my son would have referred to "Bobby's Dad" and not "one of Mom's friends".<P>This is like stepping over another line. I feel that my wife's new boyfriends are her thing. These guys have nothing to do with our family and they have no business being around our kids like that.<P>After posting my first time about a month ago on GQII, I made a phone appointment with Steve Harley. He's talked to me twice and my wife once, separately. I'm supposed to stay in plan A for a while longer. I have my next appointment Thursday morning but this is really bugging me right now.<P>Is there any way to deal with this under plan A? My wife is out right now and I probably won't see her until the morning.<P>Thanks,<P>tmmx

tmmx:<P>If you can discuss this issue without lovebusting, yeah---you can bring it up in Plan A.<P>I would recite the story as your oldest told it. Ask her if she would please refrain from bringing the kids on any of her "outings". See if you can reach a joint agreement on this, for the welfare of the children.<P>Don't use disrespectful judgements or selfish demands during this discussion (and that's <B>NOT</B> going to be easy).<P>My wife's affair was with an OM who had children, and my kids and his kids knew each other (prior to my discovering the affair). One of the things I successfully did was to negotiate the kids out of the affair---with Steve's excellent help, I might add. I'm glad that you're counseling with him, he's the best!