Hello All,<P>This is my first post here but, I have been visiting the board since Oct'00. The information and experiences found here has been very helpful and informative. Thanks!<P>This is my tale - <P>Married: 20 yrs. Aug 23 '01<BR>Together: 24 yrs.<BR>Kids: 2 Sons, 17 & 11 yrs old<BR>D-Day: Aug. 24, 2000<BR>EA: approx. 2 yrs<BR>PA: 2 mos.<P>WS is a teacher and works with the OM who is also a teacher. Both teach in the same grade school. W told me she "didn't want to be married" at the beginning of the EA. We went see a C two times but, W did not like the C and haven't returned yet.<P>I had the gut feeeling she was having an A but as others have experienced here she wouldn't confess to an A. She was spending alot of time away from home, kids and me at work.<P>D-Day was when I found a bundle of love letters from the OM to the W. The W also opened a separate checking acct. with the Credit Union at work. I snooped and found the OM's name on her Credit Union statements for depositing money into her acct. In addition, the cell phone she has was given to her (and I believe paid for by) by the OM. When I asked the W about the A she said "he is just a friend". But I told her no sale. She finally admitted to a PA, but only once(?).<P>After D-Day we remained living in our home together. We where getting along better than we had in years. W agreed to no contact with the OM. I asked her to quit her job and she agreeded to. But, as summer ended she went back to work at the same school. I asked here to at least transfer to another school. She agreeded to do so. I could tell she was still having contact with OM at work. And the OM continued to deposit money into her acct. The W and I where communicating better than we been in spite of her continued contact. <P>I found MB and read everything I could get my eyes on. MB helped me see the "Whys" about the A. Spoke to the W about EN's etc. and begain plan A'ing my back side off (which I still continue). Our M continued improving.<P>In Jan'01 the OM called our house in the evening while the W, I and the kids were play a board game. The OM called 2 times but would not say anything since I answered the phone. The OM called a 3rd time and my son answered the phone. I placed the call on the speaker phone and the OM told W how much he loved her. The W told OM that she can't talk now, and ended the call. Major LB I now but it was to much for me to handle. The W and I had words she begain to leave for her mother's and while I was next to the car saying good bye, and a man shows up beside the car. I asked him what did he what did he want. I looked at teh W and then back to the man, and I realized that it was the OM. Well he wouldn't leave when i asked him to. Well...it got ugly. The W ended up driving the OM home since he couldn't drive. I thought I would never see her again. But the W did return after taking OM home.<P>Since the above incident we continued to improve our marrige. But, to this day she still has the cell phone and the credit union acct.. The W and the OM call each other on the cell phone and OM continues to deposit money into her acct. All of this the W denies. She asks me "why do you think that". That meaning contact and money. <P>As end of the school year approached W began getting distant again. I saw her on day at a red light talking on the cell phone she had told me she didn't have. When I asked her about the cell phone seh told me that she had called him a couple of times to "just talk". I believe communication is a EN of her's. On the last day of school she told me "she never wants to see or talk to me again". She stayed at her mother's that night and I went home. The next day W called me at our home and left a message that she was going away for a the weekend. And she would talk to me when she got back. She told no one where she was. Kids were visiting out of state uncle on this weekend. W returned home 3 days latter when kids returned. She was all ready to handle some money issues that she normally would not want to talk about. I was shocked about her coming home and wanting to work on this issue with me.<P>This week I asked if we could write the OM a No Contact letter and send it to OM. She said that it was over between them since Jan'01 incident. I asked her if she "told him that it was over". W said "what do you think since what happened" in Jan'01 with OM. I believe she has yet to tell him it's over. She told me "you write the letter" I told her I will not do that. So we will see what happens with this. I think that money is another of her EN's. I told her that in Sept. that she is going to return to the same job with him. She told me she is looking for a transfer or working for another employer all together. I will also see what happens with this.<P>I am going to contact a C again and see if W will go. Would like to speak with Steve since I believe the Plan does work. But W is pretty sharp on thinks and may not agree to C with Steve. Well I will try for myself at least. I do not know if I can continue Plan A if W returns this year to work at the same school with OM.<P>Thanks to all who stuck the long post out! Just finally venting I guess.<P>Positive