I found out about my husband's EA 3 weeks ago. It started as a friendship a few months ago, and the friendship ended for two months after he confessed to spending time with her and hiding it from me. Then, it began again, but much more intensified, and I found out about it 4 weeks into it (by looking at his cell phone bill).<P>He has ended the affair/friendship (does not call her, chat online, go to lunch, have any conversations - the only contact they had was at work or by phone or computer). They worked together for a while, but my husband now works in a different group, but at the same company, in the same building.<P>He sees her in the cafeteria, the mailroom, etc. And, he has lots of friends and co-workers in his old group (her group) that he wants and needs to stay in touch with.<P>He's very much "in the fog" and still has feelings for her and confesses to missing her, but has stated commitment to our marriage. We began counseling within a week of d-day.<P>My question is: Is there any hope as long as he is in a situation to see her every day at work? I don't want him to quit his job, but I'm afraid of any contact (and so is he). <P>Thanks for any advice.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Imogene:<BR><B>Is there any hope as long as he is in a situation to see her every day at work? I don't want him to quit his job, but I'm afraid of any contact (and so is he).</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My advice is not no, but hell no. If he wants the <BR>marriage to work, he should quit his job, move across<BR>the country if necessary. You shouldn't have this worry.<P>Bob

I am in the same situation with work. Some on here have done it, most could not. It is encouraging that he tells you he is also worried.Time will tell.

I say NO also..<BR> I just found out today that OW and her H are being stationed on the same base we are getting stationed. I am having my H ask to put in a request to another base. I cannot/will not live in the same place as OW. I cant build back any trust, and I refuse to live my life wondering everytime he leaves the house "I wonder if he is going to see her?" I do not deserve that.<P>Do what makes you happy. If it would make you happier with him not working in the same place as her.... Make it happen.<BR>If he isnt willing, he doesnt love you.<P>~Heather

Imogene,<P>My W's been in a EA for 5 1/2 months now. She said she has feeling for him (she told me this awhile back, since then she said she does not know if she does or not anymore). I have done everything in my power to lift the fog with no luck. I asked her to quit her job and stay at home with the kids, which she has always wanted. She said NO. I told her there was no way to work on us if she is still working with him, and she told me that she is not leaving, that she loves her job and she told me to do what I need to do.<P>What I am getting at. Put yourself in his shoes. If you have been talking to a person for a period of time, seeing this person at work, chating on-line and have feelings for this person, would YOU be willing to just walk away? I told this to my W and her responce was - we are just friends. Someone to talk to. Ya right. <P>Good luck

I vote NO to on this idea- my H was in an EA/PA with a coworker and even AFTER she took a job transfer there was contact between them- she came back to town and brainwashed him so much he filed for D on me( married 15 yrs and 3 kids) then he finally came to his senses and cancelled it. He told our counselor that he was in a situation( EA!) with OW he didnt know how to get out of.But I can tell you its just like an addiction. Would you let your spouse drink just ONE occasional glass of wine if they were in AA? No!!!!! lifeismessyPS our counselor told him to get a grip on his thoughts because they lead to his feelings which lead to his actions- that seemed to help H a bit