Hi Mikenu,<P>I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down today. Yes, I too wonder sometimes why I am still doing this. I too believe that marriage is a building process etc. and it makes me angry that my H isn't allowing any building to go on. Everything in our marriage came to a standstill and now seems to be slowly going backwards because of his feelings for OW. I'm plan Aing my butt off and he might be with her now. Is this how you feel as well? How long have you been doing plan A? Although D Day for me was 4 months ago, I think I'd done loads of damage before I started this plan A. I only discovered MB about three weeks ago. I thought plan A would simply mean being nice to him whenever I spoke to him, not displaying any anger about the A and trying to remind him why it was he married me in the first place. (Showing him the kind, thoughtful person he married etc.)It isn't as easy as that though is it? Its really hard not to phone them and lose your temper with them when they seem to be totally disregarding your feelings doesn't it? I think, however, the thing which others have said about it being an addiction must be true. My H never lied before and always had very high moral standards. He seems to have gone against all his beliefs and has not returned calls from any of his friends. His trying to pretend that he's in another world or something where the only people who know him are his work colleagues and OW. <P>The reason I am carrying on with this is that one day he/ they will have to realise that their fantasy world can not exist any longer. One day they will realise that it is ruining other areas of their lives. They will lose friends because of their actions. One day they will just get tired of all the lies and deceit and of living a double life. One day, they will wake up and realise that they don't like the person they have bacome and are not happy after all. We don't know when that day will be. But if we stay strong in this plan A stuff, then at least we know that if they do wreck their lives, it won't be our fault. If they don't come back to us, it won't be our fault and if they DO come back to us...we will be glad we stuck with the plan.<P>Think peaceful thoughts.<BR>God Bless,<BR>Wounded One