I'm not even sure that I want to go through with this anymore. I got a VM from her pharmacist yesterday notifying that her "prescription" is ready (guess what that was). Well, despite the fact of what is obviously going on, this still disgusted me and I'm kind of sick of her childish selfishness. <P>I think of how the book of Proverbs states that she will live an eternity in hell (which begins on Earth). Not to judge, but: Do I really want someone like this? Do I really want someone who had an affair only four months after our marriage began? Can I truly love someone that can't keep the biggest promise that they ever made? I know everyone says that this isn't her - that this is the opposite of her and that she's "intoxicated" and so on... Well, I'm still disgusted. I know what kind of man I am. I'm not tempted by the material desires in life (he's rich). I'm a religious Catholic (he's an atheist). I do not believe that the "grass is greener". Finally, I believe that marriages are a building process that includes hard work and evolving love. The list goes on-and-on.<P>How do I continue with Plan A and the desire to reconcile with someone who has the exact opposite beliefs and I'm not sure ever had those beliefs to begin with? Right now, I'm not sure.<BR>

Hi Mikenu,<P>I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down today. Yes, I too wonder sometimes why I am still doing this. I too believe that marriage is a building process etc. and it makes me angry that my H isn't allowing any building to go on. Everything in our marriage came to a standstill and now seems to be slowly going backwards because of his feelings for OW. I'm plan Aing my butt off and he might be with her now. Is this how you feel as well? How long have you been doing plan A? Although D Day for me was 4 months ago, I think I'd done loads of damage before I started this plan A. I only discovered MB about three weeks ago. I thought plan A would simply mean being nice to him whenever I spoke to him, not displaying any anger about the A and trying to remind him why it was he married me in the first place. (Showing him the kind, thoughtful person he married etc.)It isn't as easy as that though is it? Its really hard not to phone them and lose your temper with them when they seem to be totally disregarding your feelings doesn't it? I think, however, the thing which others have said about it being an addiction must be true. My H never lied before and always had very high moral standards. He seems to have gone against all his beliefs and has not returned calls from any of his friends. His trying to pretend that he's in another world or something where the only people who know him are his work colleagues and OW. <P>The reason I am carrying on with this is that one day he/ they will have to realise that their fantasy world can not exist any longer. One day they will realise that it is ruining other areas of their lives. They will lose friends because of their actions. One day they will just get tired of all the lies and deceit and of living a double life. One day, they will wake up and realise that they don't like the person they have bacome and are not happy after all. We don't know when that day will be. But if we stay strong in this plan A stuff, then at least we know that if they do wreck their lives, it won't be our fault. If they don't come back to us, it won't be our fault and if they DO come back to us...we will be glad we stuck with the plan.<P>Think peaceful thoughts.<BR>God Bless,<BR>Wounded One

Wounded One, They are inspirational words. I am at a low point today, too, and I really needed to read your post. I just want to shake that man and get some sense into his head.