I am new to this whole site, but I have read the BC and I understand some of this...<P>Maybe I am not understanding what Plan A&B really are...<P>In my case, I am unsure if I even need to make a Plan A/B??<P>My H admitted to cheating (I dont even call it an afair) and he has had no contact with OW since. He desparatly wants me to stay. He is completly sorry and realizes what he did was wrong.<P>So.. Do I need to make a Plan A???<P>ANy info will help.<P>~Heather

StayStrong:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A/B</A> are covered in this article by Dr. Harley. If you read this, you'll understand that they are most often used for combating an active affair. They can also be used in some situations in which one spouse isn't making the changes necessary to sustain a healthy marriage. Separation is also recommended in cases of abuse.<P>What you probably are more interested in are the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>Rules for Recovery</A>. These boil down to Harley's "Four Rules for a Successful Marriage". In essence, if you follow these rules you would be in a "Plan A" situation---eliminating lovebusters and meeting your spouse's emotional needs. But Plan A usually implies a one-way situation (the betrayed spouse working on the wayward spouse)---you and your husband should be actively working on these together.<P>A couple of Harley's books might be applicable:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>Surviving an Affair</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6015_fall.html" TARGET=_blank>Fall in Love, Stay in Love</A>