A very brief history; I've been using Plan A since the day after I found my wife with another man. It has been three weeks now and she has gone from wanting to pack her bags and run to wanting to slow this down. She contacts OM daily and has even spent this past weekend with OM. Very early on I stupidly said the him or me question with a very definate response that it would be him she chooses to be with. Well of course that question hasn't come back. That question was before she wanted to slow down. Now I ask you, should I say the him or me thing again? Is there a good time to do this or to do it at all. From all I have read the addiction feeling she has would of course enable her to choose him. I guess my question is during Plan A am I supposed to just ignore her contact with him, at least she has agreed to tell me when it happens, and put up with it? Also how can the plan work when she chooses to spend most of her time with him????!!! Need big help!!! Really confused.

Hi I am at this for the second time with my wife. It is not all her fault I have failed feeling her needs and actually listening. From my experience do not push your luck the longer you keep her wit you the longer you have to prove you can make her happy. My wife says she loves me but is not in love with me. The other guy who she still is seeing at work is a distraction. If you are intrested I could give you more details about my life. What I have said before here is we all think we are the only ones who feel this way and little do we know that it is a well followed script. Hold on you are in for the emotional roller coster ride of your life. Stay strong no LB and you must take the abuse. It aint fair but it is life. Hold on love her unconditionally. I am trying to get my wife to renew our vows so we can start new.<BR>Do not expect a apology at best love her and start meeting her needs. I t is hard on your ego but you must show her care, admiration, affection, converstation,and do not expect sex if it happens great. Give her room. Believe me this is good advice if it were only easy to follow. Good luck

Thanks for the great information and support. I'd love to hear more of your story. It's amazing how many people's stories are almost identical. Again thanks.