Hi...my husband left three weeks ago and it was quite a shock to me. He has apparently been thinking about this for a while....found out the day after he moved out that he has a girlfriend. He originally stated that he was confused and didn't want to make a mistake and divorce was too final. Now he is pushing me to divorce him NOW! He has gotten so cold and hostile no matter what I do. I'm not sure what happened. I have been doing plan a since he moved out but he just kept getting meaner and taking advantage of me. I finally sat down with him three days ago to find out the status of our "separation" and he told me he no longer loved me and wants a divorce as soon as possible and it has nothing to do with the OW...that he wouldn't leave me for another woman. He originally took only a handful of stuff but after he said that I packed up the rest and put it in the garage and he came and picked it up today. I had been avoiding his calls for the last couple of days and finally called him back today when he said he was coming over to use one of my cars....he was irate when I told him he couldn't. He wants the divorce papers NOW....he is divorcing ME not our girls and wants to be able to see them several times a week. This hurts so much to talk/see him when he is so nasty to me and just 6 weeks ago he was acting as if everything was fine in our marriage. He took her on vacation a right after that and things went downhill quickly after that. Of course I didn't know this til much later....I am filing for divorce tomorrow against my better wishes but my parents tell me I have to to protect my rights to the house (changing the locks), the kids, etc. That I can always "sit on" the papers after they are filed but that way I would get certain rights that I wouldn't have otherwise....any advice? It has only been three weeks but I see no signs of him ever wanting to come back and I am devastated and so are by three daughters (under age 5). His friends (and stripper girlfriend) are all telling him this is the best thing to do by divorcing me. I feel like I'm swimming upstream against too many people.

The following is only my opinion! Don't feel forced to live by it.<P>I think that it is too soon to make decisions! At this point you are still in shock and experiencing waves of emotions. So I think you should try plan A for a least a little. It sounds like that will be very difficult, but plan A is for YOU. Read Plan A 101 thread on this forum if you can.<P>

Please read everything on this site. When my H tells me something I don't like I try to understand that it is the fog talking and not his true feelings. If he wants a D let him file. You can protect you and the kids without filing for D. Things will get better in time. Plan A, PlanS, Plan A. That is the best advise I can give. I have been doing it for 2 months now and my H is starting to come around. His actions are speaking loud. He has told me in the past he is leaving and does not want to work on the M. Take this time and better yourself. You won't be sorry.<P>Good luck and stay strong, come here to vent and no LB.<P>------------------<BR>(spoken aloud from the mind) mine