It's been 4 months since my W told me she did not love me any more and wanted to separate. A long term mutual friend had been acting as a shoulder for her to cry on throughout this period, but I was repeatedly told he was just a friend. Two weeks ago my W finally told me they were in a relationship, but it had only just happened.... Since she first told me back in June, I've been seeing a relationship counsillor and reading many books - I'm still convinced our marriage can be saved but sometimes it's hard to keep on trying. My W moved out a month ago and now he's there every weekend. We have a 2 year old daughter who I miss terribly - I see her most weekends but I want to see her much more. I feel my family's been torn apart and now a man who I trusted is by my W's side. Is there hope? Has anyone else had their partners move out, a new man nove in and yet still managed to save their marriage in the end? Many Thanks in advance for any help.

Welcome to MB .... Read and understand MB inside out, get HNHN & SAA ... get help from Steve or Jennifer if you could afford it. There is no guarantee that W will be back but you have landed to the right place.<P>Put together a very solid plan A. Think hard on what she said when she is not happy as a clue to her EN that you have missed.<P>As your chances ... 1. Hope that OM did not fill or capable of fill in all of her EN !! and in the past you have fill some of hers. 2. Family/social supports. Now this is out the bag, how family/freind treating them ?. Hope that you are kind and good husband that ignorant about some of her EN. 3. Very solid plan A. 4. Pray and confess to GOD that you fails to protect M or make her feel loved. Ask forgiveness and remember when W is back you have to do the same for her.<P>Having say that ... you know both of them, what is your chances ?. Sometime it is easier knowing your enemies.<P>About seeing your D ... Do not demand but ask her and explain that you missed your D terribly and you want to see her more if you could. You know W weak spot ... puppy eyes ? begs ? logical explanation ? ....<P>There are many sucess stories and usually they are posted at General Question II<P>Time to get educated and busy ...

Yes there are people here who have experienced that.

However, this forum, Plan A/PLan B, is always very slow. You might want to try posting on General Questions II or In Recovery. There is more activity in those forums.

This websit is specifically for people attempting to save their marriages using the Marriage Builders (MB) concepts. You may want to start by learning those concepts. place to start is to read all of the material on this web site and the books "Surviving an Affair", "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters". These should give you a good start and you will then understand what we are all talking about here.

Here's a good place to start:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000553

Wishing you luck,

<small>[ June 05, 2003, 12:50 AM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>