In the last month I have been near depression and separation!<P>Since I've found some truths (and not by my H, rather the POW) I have been so much more at peace. I <B>knew</B> there was more to this and I was about insane. I had withdrawn from my H and was spriling towards a breakdown of sorts.<P>Now I'm recommiting to my marriage and will try the Plan A thing again. I've stopped obsessing about his email activity quite a bit and it helps.<P>I was told by my counselor (a Ph.D.) who said it's his personality to be a womanizer so I'm not sure why I'm doing this again. I guess it's my co-dependancy and my own addiction to this man.<P>I'm sure the day will come when I find there's someone new, but until that time I'm going to do my best to make our blended family work.<P>Just wanted to share!<P>God Bless!<BR><><

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Free2BMe:<BR><STRONG> .. I was told by my counselor (a Ph.D.) who said it's his personality to be a womanizer so I'm not sure why I'm doing this again. I guess it's my co-dependancy and my own addiction to this man.<BR></STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Free2BMe, does you MC practice MB ?. Did you have a solid plan A (no LB at all) and solid plan B (no contact at all). I kind of agree w/ your MC, if you had done all of this and WS still in the fog ... the answer maybe is in WS's gene. With those dogs, you better stay away, they are what I call "emotional abuser". You might be surprise that there are a lot of man dying to receive your best. You might end up hurting yourself and not rebuilding yourself.<P>Take care,<BR>Hadi

Hadi,<P>Thank you for the response! Rereading my thread - it appears jumbled.<P>To answer some of your questions, I did successful Plan A last year in the beginning. After looking back now - I don't agree with Plan A 100%. I think too many BSs are taken advantage of in this time.<P>I haven't discussed MB with my counselor. I met with him once and discussed my marriage, but that was it. I was seeing him for my son actually (7 year old). <P>We never did Plan B, but wish we had. Actually I wish we never married. It was just Jan. 00 and I already new about his 1 night PA.<P>I don't know what I'll do if I find he's up to no good again, but right now I'm not going looking like I did before.<P>Again, thanks for your thoughts!<P> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Free2BMe:<BR><STRONG><BR>To answer some of your questions, I did successful Plan A last year in the beginning. After looking back now - I don't agree with Plan A 100%. I think too many BSs are taken advantage of in this time.<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> </STRONG><P>Thats why we have plan B ... to protect your feeling.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><STRONG><BR>I haven't discussed MB with my counselor. I met with him once and discussed my marriage, but that was it. I was seeing him for my son actually (7 year old). <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE></STRONG><P>You need it to get MC for yourself ... and better if it practices MB. Do it yourself MB is not for everyone.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> <STRONG> We never did Plan B, but wish we had. Actually I wish we never married. It was just Jan. 00 and I already new about his 1 night PA.<BR></STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Maybe you should. You should do; re-visit your plan A and set time limit; set a plan also for plan B ... be ready, what if senario.<P>Best of luck to all of us,<P>Hadi

Hadi,<P>I just couldn't bring myself to go through with Plan B and I recognize I need to work on myself before I can be healthy enough emotionally to move to Plan B if...<P>So many things have come together in our blended family recently and I think that with us just getting married and joining 4 boys there is some validity to his trapped and lost feelings. He didn't handle the stresses and emotions as he should have, but he did what he needed to do. I'm not saying it's right, but I can't change what he did.<P>I'm just hoping that now that we've settled into our lives as a blended family things won't be as stressful.<P>I've also started voicing myself more and that's something I didn't do much or effectively at the time.<P>I thank you for your concern and guidance!<P>God Bless!<BR><><<P> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Final note ... It is our fault that we probably ignore the EN nad our failure to protect our marriage but IT IS HIS CHOICE TO STRAYED OUT. Be good to your self, take as much time as you need to in plan A but protect your self in plan B.<P>Hope hearing from you again in the future for a better posting. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks Redhat! I feel pretty good these days. <P> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

bump ... how is it ?, being a good plan A'er ?.